Intimate dinners over big parties

December is still the most wonderful month for me. Since my social life is not as crazy-colorful as it was a decade or so ago, the very few parties and dinners become somewhat a good reason to pause for a moment and enjoy the happy season.

It was a Friday the 13th holiday party for our company this year.

Compared to previous years when I’d, in fact, bother with what to wear and would almost always come in a cocktail dress—I decided to go casual this year by wearing just a red top, skinny jeans and nude, pointed heels.

My decision to chill out this year was the realization that after the party itself, I don’t get another chance to wear my semi-formal pieces again since I hardly go out and socialize. All those dresses end up inside my closet waiting for another chance to strut in them again.

I think going casual this year was just okay; I still got compliments on how sexy gorgeous slim I looked but perhaps only because people hardly see me wear heels and tight-fitting jeans these days.

I have become your typical manang, I guess.

I’ve been attending corporate parties since I started working 22 long years ago and it made me realize that partying—like dating, is no longer this tita’s cup of tea.

Not that I’ve always been a perpetual bore. I have my wild party days, believe it or not. I would skip work to go clubbing and partying till the wee hours. There was even a time when my mother got so mad and would not speak to me for days after I got home reeking of alcohol one morning.

Right now it’s kinda hard to imagine I even went through that phase.

I’ve already hit what others call “social menopause” wherein the things I consider fun many years ago are not so fun anymore. It’s not that I have become a recluse because I was still taking pictures with friends and officemates during our holiday party, but unlike before I no longer go from table to table like some social butterfly.

I also liked it better just sitting and watching people than be with the twenty/thirty-somethings on the dancefloor. The loud thumping of the gigantic speakers plus the strobe lights is giving this old lady a slight headache.

I tell you, if not for the major raffle which they deliberately held off till 11PM, I would have gone home and tucked in early.

Alas, still no luck on any of the raffle prizes (which includes a trip to Japan and Maldives) so as soon as the raffle ended, my brother and I jumped on the shuttle service and called it a night.

Big parties exhaust me. It was more effort than it was worth.

***

I may no longer like big parties, but I still love intimate dinners.

I met with my BFFs for our annual wishlist reveal last Saturday. The four of us have been doing this gift-giving tradition for many years now and it’s something that we’d likely do until such time that we’re already handing out our senior discount cards.

The whole time, I thought we’d be having it at NIU by Vikings in SM Aura, so I was already there by 5:30 PM. When I checked on our group chat again, I realized it was actually at the other NIU branch which is at The Podium in Ortigas!

For a moment I’d like to take a rain check because there were hordes of people waiting for a ride by the entrance of SM Aura. If you knew how bad the traffic could get on a Saturday, you’d definitely be less enthusiastic to go anywhere that would require you to travel via EDSA. (Which is why I demanded that for the next year, I’d get to choose the venue—HA!)

Then again, a part of me wanted to go and see my friends because I haven’t seen any of them for a year. Besides, we have been planning for the wishlist reveal for months and I think I’d regret it very much if I don’t come.

By some cosmic miracle, I was able to book a Grab, albeit the unreasonably high fare, and got there just in time at 7PM.

Even if we only see each other once or twice a year if we’re lucky, expect that we’d compensate that through hours of tsismisan and catching up. I mean, what better way to do that but over unlimited food and drinks?

I also got a free cake and a giddy birthday song from my friends.

Four hours just went swooshing by and before I know it it's already almost 11 PM! I have enjoyed the night so much it made me lose track of the time.

I couldn’t help but compare how I was itching to go home the night before during our company party, and how I’d like so much to stay for another cup of coffee with my friends.

You can blame aging for this but I would choose an intimate, sit-down dinner with friends any day than partying with so many people.

I Could Not Ask For More

It was my 43rd birthday Friday last week. As with all birthdays, I took a four-day leave because I never liked working on my day as I feel I’m giving myself a great disservice when I do. Not to sound dramatic, but birthdays for me is very sacred.

It wasn’t as eventful as the previous years where my family and I would eat out, or when I spend it with friends over dinner. I didn’t even bother booking a staycation when I could have easily used my employee rate at one of our hotels. Nevertheless, it was one of my better birthdays as I spent the early part of the day with the Lord and by myself, while the latter part I was with the people who mattered.

Actually, my own birthday plans started last Thursday after work, when out of the blue I just thought of watching the new Chris Evans movie, Knives Out, alone at Greenbelt — which, by the way, is fun to watch for a murder mystery buff like me. Admittedly at first, I wanted to watch it only because of Chris, but the movie surprisingly was cleverly entertaining as it’s not your regular whodunit movie. No wonder it received good reviews.

After the movie, I went to the mall and bought something to wear for my birthday. I know that sounds like a five-year-old who must have new clothes for such an occasion, but heck, I actually did a little shopping for myself.

When I got home, I saw this gift lying on my bed which reads: Vayie, Happy birthday from Steve Rogers which was obviously in my older brother’s handwriting. It was quite heavy and even if I was excited to open it, I thought it would be best to do it on the day itself.

I was up early the next day like it was a usual workday. I read the first few birthday greetings on Facebook and Instagram which is always fun (Although part of me wonders how many of them really knew if Facebook hadn’t notified them. But hey—not complaining. I’m just happy to get a greeting).

I opened my kuya’s birthday present and I was particularly thrilled to see it’s a 1/6th scale Captain America collectible figure! He knew me too well to not give me clothes, bags or other girly stuff. And he knows the Captain America version I actually like the most! Happy sister, here.

Mommy, also an early riser, was the first family member to ever greet me and then she offered me coffee which I happily obliged. By 6:30 AM I was already on my way to Greenbelt Chapel for the early morning mass at 7:15 AM.

When I got there, I remembered that it’s also the First Friday of the month so there are more parishioners than the usual morning mass. I know saying this may sound hypocritical because I have missed quite a few birthday masses in the past, but this year reminded me how one must begin every birthday — thanking the Lord for another year of life full of blessings, grace and hope.

I no longer remember the last time I had communion; if I’m not mistaken probably more than ten years—and I have my reasons why. Finally, after a long time, I had one and it almost brought me to tears.

The mass ended a little over 8:00 AM and most establishments are still closed. This is absolutely my favorite time to get a coffee—when Starbucks has just opened and is not yet cramped with people. They gave me a slice of blueberry cheesecake for my birthday treat so I only have to pay for the caramel macchiato and mixed sandwiches (Aren’t birthday freebies cool?).

I chose a good spot outside, put my feet up on another chair, and just relaxed and enjoyed my coffee. I continued replying to all the birthday messages I’ve been getting, until it got so many I no longer able to keep up (presbyopia sucks!). Let it be known to those who have bothered to greet me, that the warm greetings put a sweet smile on my face.

The weather that morning was nippy, which added to the overall relaxing feel. There were quite a few people passing by and going by their usual routine, but still, it’s just the right amount of tranquility for me. I’ve always been a solitary person so sitting and watching people is something I revel.

I love it when I am inside my own rabbit hole; when I’m left alone with my thoughts. I don’t get this much peace on regular days when it’s all noisy and busy and chaotic so I took pleasure with it. Having my caramel macchiato just the way I wanted it (with two Splenda) and a bite of the blueberry cheesecake which I got for free, added a boost to my endorphins.

About an hour later, I got a video call from my younger brother saying my nephew, Liam, wanted to greet me (my nephews were still sleeping when I left so I didn’t get any greetings from them earlier). I tell you — it was one of the best video calls I had so far.

I stayed at Starbucks for almost two hours and waited for the mall to open to do some quick shopping. I got home before lunch to rest for a while and change. I promised my nephews I’ll bring them to DreamPlay, which is a DreamWorks movies-inspired play center for kids located in City of Dreams Manila. Good thing that my older brother is also on leave, so he was able to accompany me and the kids.

Nothing beats that happy feeling seeing my nephews having a great time. Never mind if my brother and I paid the full admission price just to practically babysit the two — especially that it wasn’t cheap for a play center — because when I saw the twinkle in Gavin’s eyes and how loud Liam laughed as he played with the other kids, it’s all worth it.

The day ended with a little dinner at home. My nephews offered another birthday song for their tita and blew the candle with me.

Nothing much I know, but it was an awesome birthday nonetheless. It made me realize that as I get older, I no longer wanted to bust out birthday dinners or noisy parties. I don’t have to entertain guests and please them. I don’t even have to bother much about the details and the other stuff. I just wanted to spend some time with myself and with the people I love. Spending a part of it alone is not bad at all because I got to do the things I like to do.

I am just thankful for the people around me especially my family for being there.

I could not ask for more.

Hooray for the bidet!

It’s always discussed during Townhall meetings how our Center Director had been requesting our building administration if we can have bidets in our restrooms. We were allowed one bidet per restroom—but I guess our director persisted because just over the weekend, our facilities installed handheld bidets (Shattaf sprayers) on all of our cubicles!

My earliest memory of a bidet was at around 8 or 9 years old when I stayed at a cousin’s house (actually a cousin’s cousin) for the weekend. I noticed this slim tube attachment with a small valve and a nozzle on the side of their toilet bowl. When I turned it, projectile water came splashing directly to my face. Realizing what it’s for, I thought even then that it was a nifty idea.

Bidet installation is something that is often dropped because it requires additional plumbing. Add that to the water shortages that we experience every now and then. This is the reason why only a small percentage of establishments opt to have it on their restrooms. Most of us are left with no other choice but to use the next best (but very economical) alternative: The tabo (dipper).

However, even if it’s a fixture on most Filipino homes, public restrooms don’t usually provide tabo; sometimes not even clean water. You’d be lucky to even have a toilet paper available.

For this reason, I always bring wet wipes just in case. It is unsettling for me to do the number two and just wipe with a toilet paper. C’mon— if you accidentally touched crap will you just wipe it with a tissue? I don’t think so!

The thing with wet wipes—no matter how much they claim they're hypoallergenic—is that it can be irritating to our nether region.

Nothing beats that feeling when you are able to “release” and wash after. Personally, even wiping after peeing is just not enough because I don’t feel very clean.

And don’t get me started when it’s our time of the month! Washing when changing pads is a must and you can’t do that just by merely wiping as microbes can cause itching and infections like UTI.

This is why since that first bidet that was installed inside the WC cubicle of our restroom, I’ve always been one who’d wait for my turn for it even if the other cubicles are available. I feel that it’s just one of the few things that make everyday life a lot better.

And I know I’m not alone. Bidets are becoming popular that it might as well be mandatory on all public restrooms especially those that are found in the malls, terminal, train stations, gasoline stops, etc. It should not be just limited to upscale establishments because toilet hygiene is for everybody. 

Save it for another day

As I write this post, the Philippines is leading the Southeast Asian games medal tally. Something to be proud of, really, for Filipinos not just here in the Philippines but also overseas.

This is refreshing news after weeks of controversy over the ₱50-million cauldron, the complaints of unfinished venues and media center, issues in logistics and lack of provisions for both local and foreign athletes, participants being removed from the games for voicing out irregularities, etc.

While this was all going on, supporters of the administration were quick to defend the committee handling the games. It got irritating how some of them say that all of these are just attempts to put down the current administration, even if the complaints were pretty obvious as it came from the foreign delegates and athletes.

The other side has not stopped as well.

The 2019 Southeast Asian Games opening ceremony last Saturday, which was met with mostly good reviews and comments, was still not spared by a few who just can’t seem to set aside their political agenda for once to appreciate it. A writer described it like “perya” (tacky circus) and suggested they could have ballet dancers perform instead.

Supporters of President Duterte and the opposition (Liberal Party) were both having it on social media, throwing shade at each other and it already got so toxic I can’t even begin to describe it. It’s sad that respected news outlets and journalists had played their hand too; some of them would only report based on their personal biases.

I don’t think this is going to stop anytime soon because it’s all about propaganda. Now more than ever, it’s pretty easy to spread fake news, hate, and criticism because of social media. Even if fact-checking these days is easier and should be the first thing one should do, we all have gotten too lazy that we just impulsively react and share what we see.

But if you want to remain sane these days, then you should stay away from such discourse. This is the very reason I hardly join in on debates online or allow myself to get triggered by nasty headlines. Aside from the fact that I am neither pro-Duterte nor pro-LP, fighting over it will only be a waste of my time and energy.

I’m willing to bet that there are even some who hope that the games will fail, but let us not forget that the success of the SEA Games is the country’s success too. If it fails, it’s not only the Duterte administration that would go down, but the Philippines as well.

There’s nothing wrong with having a political stance but I believe there is a right time for everything. At the moment, what’s best is to set aside the differences and be pro-Filipino more than anything else. We should all stop the bickering on social media and just give our all-out support to our athletes, not to any political party.

Make no mistake though—after the games, I think it’s only right to order an audit on the expenses and investigation on some of the lapses that happened. If this government wanted faith from their people and at the same time silence their critics (if that will ever happen), then transparency is the way to go.

Until then let’s all WIN AS ONE.