My Valentine

Photo by Megan Stallings on Unsplash

How do you know you are really missing someone?

I know that I really miss the person when he would cross my mind during the busiest part of my day, and not when I am about to sleep.

Just like that quote that says: “It’s about who you miss at 2:00 in the afternoon when you’re busy, not at 2:00 in the morning when you’re lonely.”

I think of many things while lying in bed at night. I lose sleep over the most trivial of things. I think about the bills I have to pay; I think about why the KFC Original recipe had gotten so salty; I think about what song I want to be playing on my funeral; I think about the errands that I have to run the next day. Heck, I even think about that class bully that made my life a living hell in fourth grade. 

There’s nothing special about a person crossing your mind at the end of the day when you’re all alone in your thoughts. What’s special is when you think of someone during the day when you’re supposed to be preoccupied. It’s when you’re around a lot of people and you are suddenly reminded of the person and you wish you were with them instead. 

And with each thought is a pause. Then it just hits you hard.

Cool mornings

Photo by David Mao on Unsplash

A few days ago, Baguio City temperature dropped to its coldest so far at 9.8°C.

The past few days, we are also enjoying lower temperatures here in Metro Manila, with the coldest recorded at 19.9°C (yes, that’s cold already), the reason why I find it so hard to get up in the morning.

The northeast monsoon (Amihan) is what causes the breezy air. This is the cool and dry northeast wind coming from Siberia and China and blows down to Southeast Asia. We were expecting this as early as November, but it wasn’t as strong as it was, which is why the Christmas season last year felt nothing like Christmas.

It’s a good thing that for some reason, Amihan got stronger this month. At least we can get to enjoy a few days (hopefully weeks!) of cold weather before another hellish summer is upon us.

I am what you’d call “lamigin” in Tagalog. I get cold easily. A stay in a room with an AC on full blast (like when we stay at hotels), you can see me covered from head to toe. I always say I won’t last living anywhere where it can get very cold, unless there’s someone I can cuddle with, to which I’d say, bring it (the cold) on!  

Anyhow, I’m having a good night’s sleep these days. Thanks to the nippy weather and the Magnesium Glycinate supplement I take before I go to sleep.

My Pet Peeves that no one asked for

Photo by Andre Hunter on Unsplash

We all have that something that we find especially annoying. For some it’s just one or two things, for the others, there are just too many. There are the common ones that is the same with most people and there are those that is particular to you. We are wired differently; what can drive you crazy may be harmless and okay to some.

Let me share some of my biggest pet peeves and see which of it is also yours.

• Eating with a group of people and splitting the bill evenly

I don’t expect people to pay for me (yes, even on dates!), so before I dine out with anyone, I make sure to look at the restaurant menu online, so I know what to order once I’m there. I know more or less how much I will be paying for my meal and usually I stick to that.

So, it annoys the hell out of me to be eating with a group and everyone orders something that cost significantly higher than what I ordered and then by the time the bill comes, they’d split it evenly.

There was a time that I went on an eat-out with friends and I have like 1,000 pesos for my budget which I thought was good enough because the meal I’ll be ordering would only cost me less than 500 pesos. The others ordered rounds of beer, desserts, appetizers, etc. Some of my male friends brought their wives and kids along, so they ordered something for them as well. When it was time to pay the bill, my female friend suggested to split the bill evenly among us. When the husbands were handing out the share for what their wives and kids ordered, that same female friend said it was “okay na”. Before I can even protest, everybody starts getting cash from their wallet. Surely it couldn’t’ve been just me who does not agree divvying up the bill.

Result? I was left with about a few pesos just enough to get me a jeepney ride home.

If I’m going to go broke whenever I eat out with them, then I’d rather not be invited anymore.

• Telling me that something smells bad and then asking me to smell it.

This is my all-time pet peeve for having a heightened sense of smell. If something smells bad already, don’t ask me to smell it. I believe you.

• People in a public transport watching in their cellphones without earphones.

I don’t need to know what Tiktok video or Tulfo episode you are watching. And I don’t think the other passengers are interested too.

What’s worse: FaceTiming/video calling without headphones.

• People sneezing and coughing without covering their nose/mouth.

I hate this so much so that I made an entire post about this.  This has been a big aversion of mine even before the pandemic. So, it drives me crazy when people still do this after we all went through hell because of COVID.

• Using apostrophe-s to indicate plurals.

This is self-explanatory. Apostrophe-s is used to indicate possession, not make the nouns plural.

Under this: The classic your and you’re. If you tell me “Your pretty”, I will have a hard time believing you.

• Women reapplying lipstick after meal without brushing their teeth (or even gargling).

Biggest ick.

Don’t we all know that Kalinga/Igorot/Ilokano song Salidummay Di-Way that goes, “Lipistik ka ng lipistik di ka naman nag brush your teeth”?

Girls, your ulam does not go with the waxy taste of your lipstick.

• Leaving toothpaste globs in the sink.

What’s worse: Skid (poop) marks in the toilet bowl – super disgusting.

Just wash it down, FCOL.

• Freeloaders.

We all have that one moocher friend or relative. They are those who are perpetually broke so they think it’s a valid reason to leech off on other people because it’s easier for them to do that than better their situation.  

They are also the ones who doesn’t bring anything on group potlucks, but eats the most food. Or that cousin who asks for money but never pays back. 

• Not staying to the right when walking.

This was something that was taught to us in kindergarten. It’s the most basic rule when walking and a pedestrian etiquette that we all should follow but many people don’t.  

• Overusing the pinoy expression “Tao Lang.”

I hate this expression because it appears like we should excuse a wrong just because we’re only human who are bound to make mistakes. Some think that saying this automatically removes any accountability. 

The thing that gets me all riled with this expression is usually the manner of how it was said which almost always lacks remorse or regret.

• Someone messaging me “Hey, Vayie!”, “Hey, question.” — then nothing follows/no context.

This is another one of the things that irks me bigtime especially if it’s from someone who isn’t a close friend of mine. I’m sure it isn’t about the person being socially awkward, but I see it more as a conversation trap. They wouldn’t even give any follow-up until you reply first. 

Some people use this technique to check if the other is available for a chat, but I’d rather that they get straight to the point. If people that I’m not very close with do this, I usually leave them on “seen” until they tell me what they want.

• Loud talkers.

This was something that I can tolerate when I was younger but not so much anymore as I got older. I see this as wanting to get attention, nothing else.

• Spitting in public.

Is it just me who would rather see a poop on the sidewalk than a spit? 

There is already a policy against this but there are still people who can get away with it. 

Sadly, this is a very boomer trait, as they are usually the ones who think that there’s nothing wrong with it.  

• People taking so long to order.

Realizing the reason why the line is moving a glacial pace is because the person in front was just standing there staring at the menu display board like it was Henry Cavill’s half-naked bod.

I think most of us should already have a vague idea of what we want to order once we fall in line. 

Digital burning at stake

Photo by Markus Winkler on Unsplash

Filipino-American stand-up comedian Jo Koy is all over the news for all the wrong reasons after hosting the Golden Globes.

I didn’t even bother watching his monologue when he was trending on X (formerly Twitter) because second-hand embarrassment is real. By all accounts, he tanked. His jokes were punching down, he poked fun on Taylor Swift and even made a misogynist (oh, people love this word!) Barbie joke. And when people weren’t amused, he said he didn’t write the jokes and that he was a last-minute choice. 

Frankly, just hearing all about it, it’s cringey. 

I like Jo Koy, and while I understand that not everyone finds him funny, I think he’s just alright. Sure, I find some of his jokes rather corny, and sometimes his whole schtick of making fun of his mom’s accent can be tiring and repetitive, but comedy has always been subjective. I mean, Dave Chapelle is my favorite stand-up but there are times his humor elicited horrified gasps from me. 

This was not the first time I had encountered people hating on Jo. There was a time when my Tiktok FYP are all videos of people who are hating him and saying how they like Rex Navarette better. Furthermore, his movie “Easter Sunday”, while it’s supposed to be a feel-good Filipino family movie, was also not as well-received especially in the Filipino-American Community in the States.

To each his own. I am not in any way invalidating what others think of Jo because as I’ve said, he’s not always funny. I just realized that some people had so much time in their hands for just pure hate.

The overwhelming negative comments from his recent hosting were just downright brutal, and some people should really chill and take it easy. If you don’t like how he hosted in the Golden Globes, why be so nasty about it?

People are going, “Because he’s so embarrassing!”. I mean, come on, like none of the high-profile people in The Beverly Hilton and everyone watching at home that night ever made an ass of themselves at one point or another. 

“Oh, but she made fun of our queen, Taylor!”—NOPE. The punchline was not even for Taylor and it was the tamest joke! But when the camera pans at Taylor and she looks unamused while sipping her drink, the fans were all up in arms. Had none of you ever watched Ricky Gervais? 

It’s sad that the line between criticism and hateful speech is so thin. I’ve seen so many saying that it’s been a long time coming and that they’re just so happy to witness Jo Koy’s downfall. Really? You wish for his downfall? Over what? A routine that you find unfunny? Some people are just leaking schadenfreude from their ears. 

Unless someone is pure evil, I never believed in kicking somebody when he’s already down. 

It’s even sadder that the cruelest comments are coming from Filipinos. But why am I even surprised? It’s very Filipino to claim him when he's doing good and cancel him at the slightest fails. Also, while I don’t believe “crab mentality” is specific to Filipinos, it was after all a Filipino-coined term.

Jo Koy issue aside, internet has become so filled with people just spewing hate. Cancel Culture is like that mob who burn people at the stake back in the Middle Ages only now it’s more about publicly shaming someone online. I believe the roots of Cancel Culture is empowerment, but lately it’s getting to be destructive. This has become the climate especially during the pandemic, when people are on lockdown and got nothing much to do. When people see something that they perceive as terrible, problematic and unacceptable, most no longer bother listening or investigating, they just react. 

Herd mentality is also at its peak these days. This is the tendency of some to follow the crowd: “If they are hating someone, let’s hate `em too”-kind of thing. The danger here is that it doesn’t usually involve critical thinking. You view anyone that has an opposing views an enemy instead of accepting that there are diversity in values and thoughts. 

There’s nothing wrong raising awareness and wanting accountability, but we should all take a step back and think if the manner we react creates positive change or a negative divide. If the way you send your message across is through assassinating one’s character and throwing destructive insults, then you are part of the bigger problem.