Health is the greatest wealth

Photo by Julia Zyablova on Unsplash

The saying “Health is Wealth” hits differently in the recent years. The other day, my brother and I were talking about that Tiktok video that got viral in 2020 showing a clip of Bee Gees’ “Staying Alive”, which became some sort of anthem during the pandemic. It was supposed to be a meme, or a joke, but kuya and I agreed it was much more that.  All jokes aside, we were really trying to stay alive then, especially when we lost two uncles days apart because of COVID, and we had quite a scare when some of us here got it during the most potent of the variants: Alpha and Delta.

While COVID is no longer as deadly as it was before, it left an indelible lesson in all of us: Health is everything. Diseases don't discriminate. There’s no rich or poor as it leveled the playing field. 

Last February, my mom had to be once again rushed to the ER due to difficulty in breathing. Thank God, she tested negative for COVID, but when she was admitted, she was in bad shape. The many times that I was watching her at the hospital, I thought we’d lose her. Turns out it was pneumonia, which is a very common illness for the elderly. They had to give her strong antibiotics through IV and do several tests on her. I’m glad that after weeks of medication, she’s okay now.

I remember that one thing I read somewhere, that “middle class is just one hospitalization away from poverty”, and to be candid about it, my older brother and I, being the breadwinners of the family, felt this very much. Kuya had to use up his savings, while I maxed out one of my credit cards only after a few days that mom was in the hospital. I even have to take a bank loan just to keep my finances on check.

Make no mistake, I’m not complaining; it’s just that one will realize that illnesses can siphon one’s savings so easily with the exorbitant medical cost in this country. PhilHealth can only cover a little most of the time. No wonder, I’ve heard of well-off friends who had to seek help from other people for medical expenses incurred from treatment of terminal illnesses. 

It’s hard enough that my mother, being almost 84, had no healthcare insurance or HMO to speak of. So the mere sound of my mom coughing at night can make me anxious and lose sleep. It doesn’t help that she’s all kinds of stubborn and would continue doing things that the doctors had advised her against.

My brothers and I would talk about how health was the least of our worries when we were much younger. We never cared about our blood pressure, cholesterol levels,  blood sugar levels or whatnot. But now that we’re older, this is the everyday sh*t we all have to concern ourselves with whether we like it or not.

My younger brother, who was once fit and an all-around athlete in his younger years, is now severely overweight and riddled with a lot of health issues. What’s concerning is that he doesn’t have an HMO so most of his issues are often ignored. All I can do is remind him to take care of himself, if not for him, at least for the sake of my young nephews. I just don’t know if my reminders penetrate him.

At least Kuya and I, since we are employed by the same company, have a decent HMO package of PhP200,000 per illness annually. But trust me, that coverage isn’t enough if you have something that requires expensive procedures and long periods of confinement. I remember during my exploratory laparotomy in 2018, I exceeded my MBL (maximum benefit limit) because I had an unexpected heart complication (arrhythmia) after my surgery. I had to sign a waiver just for me to be discharged against doctor’s orders, because I don’t want to incur any out of pocket.

***

My HMO benefit is something I consider one of my life’s many blessings. Without it, I imagine I would be very hesitant to have my symptoms checked. I probably would just consult relatives that are in the medical profession knowing they will not charge me. 

After my epic food poisoning early last month, I’ve had recurring episodes of constipation, diarrhea and bloating—it’s either one or the other. There’s also this dull ache on my right side just below my rib cage that’s getting to be quite a bother especially if I lie on my side.  

I had myself checked by a gastroenterologist and she suggested I get a colonoscopy. She admits that it’s not something that’s usually done for someone my age but a problematic bowel can be a symptom of a more sinister disease. Since it is covered by my HMO anyway, I thought I should get one just for my peace of mind.

Two days prior to my scheduled colonoscopy last Saturday, I was given by the doctor a diet of no beef, pork, and vegetables. By 5PM the day before, I dissolved 10 sachets of Polyethelene Glycol (powder laxative) in 1.5 liters of water and then took two Bisacodyl (Dulcolax) tablets two hours after to clear my bowels. No more intake allowed (not even water) by 12AM of Saturday in preparation for my colonoscopy at 9AM.

Even the pharmacist was surprised I had to dissolve 10 sachets!

It’s good that even if I anticipated that the colonoscopy prep will keep me up all night because of my many trips to the toilet, it didn’t happen that way. There’s no gut-twitching abdominal pain (hilab) and I was able to empty about three times between 8pm to 4 am without any hassle.

The gastroenterologist also assured me that while colonoscopy is an invasive procedure, I will be under moderate anesthesia so there should be no pain or discomfort. 

When I got to the operating room, I was asked to change in hospital gown and then was given a sedative through IV. I was also hooked to an oxygen tank, a sphygmomanometer and oximeter through a cardiac telemetry machine to monitor my vitals while under sedation after I told them of my predisposition to arrhythmia. The gastroenterologist and the anesthesiologist did their best to ease my fears (although I wasn’t really that nervous) and made me relax by having small talks until the anesthesia kicked and I started feeling woozy. 

I told them I’ll just close my eyes.

When I opened my eyes, I found myself still lying on the operating table. I looked around and was waiting for them to start but there’s no one there. I’m still strapped to the beeping telemetry machine and I can see that my vitals are okay although I noticed that the monitor that is connected to the endoscope is already turned off.

I can hear my stomach making gurgling fart noises that I thought to myself why they haven’t started yet. It would be embarrassing if I pass gas (or poop!) while they’re doing the colonoscopy. Que horror.

The nurse then came in and asked me if I’m okay and I gave her a reassuring thumbs up after which she went out and left me again. All the while I was wondering what’s keeping them and slightly getting impatient because my nephew Gavin was outside waiting for me.

The next time the nurse got back she said: “Ma’am idi-discharge ko na po kayo.” I looked at the clock and realized it’s already almost 11AM!

To cut the long story short, tapos na pala.

Except for the rumbling stomach and gas, I didn’t feel a thing. I didn’t feel it when they position me on my side, nor did I feel the long, flexible tube inserted into my rectum. I didn’t even feel groggy or dizzy after. No pain in the bumhole too.

My gastroenterologist, Dra. Mercado, interpreted the results immediately after. I do have an outpouching in the ascending colon (diverticula) which is asymptomatic, but the best news so far is that there are no polyps or masses that usually lead to cancer. I asked the doctor if the dull pain I’m having on my side could be because of the diverticula, but she said it shouldn’t hurt. So we have yet to do more tests (an ultrasound perhaps?) to check my liver, gallbladder, pancreas, appendix and kidneys.

Bottomline, if I don’t have a health plan paid for by my company, I don’t think I have the liberty to go through these procedures considering the costs of these. As from what I read, colonoscopy alone can cost around PhP12,000-18,000, not including the professional fees for the gastroenterologist and anesthesiologist.

Imagine the plight of the less fortunate, of those who can’t afford even to have themselves get checked by a doctor. Or people like my younger brother who had no medical insurance. I have known of people who needed to go through dialysis but chose not to and died shortly thereafter. I feel for them. 

These days, I’m happier seeing my family and loved-ones in good health, than having lots of money to buy things. Now that I know how fast money could go because of high cost of medical care.

It's not the money, honey.

Photo by Ryan Franco on Unsplash

Why was my last relationship with B waned before it even took off?

Because Filipino culture is one of the most toxic there is. I don’t know why it’s been like that; was it because we were under the Spaniards for hundreds of years that they have rubbed off some of their captious characteristics on us? Or are Filipinos just backwards when it comes to views?

When some people see a Filipina with a foreigner boyfriend or husband, many automatically assume that the relationship was never for love, but more for convenience. We always hear people joke: “Isang kababayan na naman natin ang naka-ahon sa kahirapan” which for me, while may ring true to some, is not always the case.

There is no denying that many Filipinas marry foreigners for money. That some of them see foreigners as their ticket to get out of poverty. Then again, to automatically think that it’s the ONLY reason why Filipinas go out with foreigners is just unfair. Like, it can never be about mutual attraction, compatibility or intellectual stimulation?

Many think that such interracial relationships benefit the Filipinas more than the foreigner. But what if the Filipina was doing fine even before the foreigner came along? What if she already has a decent-paying job and her own money long before he met the guy? Isn’t it that there is even that possibility that the Pinay earns more than the guy? That there is no need for her to latch onto some AFAM to survive?

Especially in my case, it’s no secret to some people that I came from really humble beginnings. That I grew up struggling and had to work my way to be able to support myself and my family. So, sure, there were some people who gave slighting comments as soon as they learned that I was seeing a foreigner, with a relative even joking: “Ayos `yan, dollars!”. 

Making it worse is the fact that I’m a middle-aged woman past my prime, so some would even add that I must jump at the chance before “the bus leaves” and I find myself in lonely spinsterhood—like I wasn’t there yet (minus the “lonely”).

Some might say that I should ignore the comments and just enjoy it. Anyway, relationships, interracial or not, are tough as they are. But I wish it was that easy. The paranoia is real; I am constantly worried that he will think of it that way too, especially when he sometimes offer financial help when needed, or gift me material things whenever he can. I usually decline, which frustrates him at times, but I just don’t want to be seen (by him or by other people) as taking advantage especially that he earns more than I do.

In all fairness to B, there’s definitely a mutual attraction and I especially enjoy intellectually-stimulating conversations where he learns from me and I learn from him.  I don’t think there was ever a time he thought of himself as a “White savior”. We didn’t meet online (so one can’t say I’m on the lookout for AFAMs) and I never once asked him for money. I even steer clear of sharing problems with him because I don’t want him to think that it was a disguised cry for help. Heck, never did I feign helplessness. 

He’s well aware that this bothers me. But he understands this because he knows first-hand how some Filipinas are viewed by other nationality, especially Westerners like him. B even mentioned one time a colleague joked that he might end up a “passport bro”. He didn’t know what it meant that he had to look it up. 

It’s harder for interracial relationships to work because there will always be cultural stressors that can lead to conflict. It’s generally difficult that even if one tries to not mind people’s opinions about the relationship, it does ruin what could have been a genuinely good thing. The thought will always hover in the heads of other people and that it’s going to be a challenge to simply ignore them. What’s sadder is you can’t help having that fear that your partner, or people close to him, will think that you’re also after something else.

While I’ve said that I stop caring about what people think of me, I feel that I’m getting old having to constantly prove other people wrong. 

About the Goodnight Girl...

 This post was taken from my old blog originally posted on March 18, 2009.

I was secretly smiling to myself inside our company shuttle on my way home last night.

If I have to make a soundtrack of my life (which, by the way, would take several volumes if you know me), the song Goodnight Girl by Wet, Wet, Wet would have to be included, most definitely.

Last night, while it was being played on the radio, I was instantaneously zapped back in time. R, a fellow World Youth Day `95 delegate from our parish, gave me the lyrics of this song. Until now, I haven’t had the slightest idea why that of all the songs during the time (Do I make him doze off? Do I look like a manananggal who only comes out at night? Or just by merely thinking of me would make him sleep soundly at night? Hehehe. Feeling.)

Now this guy could drive me bonkers sometimes. While he’s really nice and had expressed his good intentions, his crazy antics to woo me could go down the books. I remember one time he was having a haircut and he saw me passed by. He stood up from the barber’s chair (his hair uneven because it’s unfinished) and asked me if he could walk me home. Even if I told him I’m okay and he could just go back to finish his haircut, he insisted. He didn’t care about the weird stares he’d been getting from people (after all, he really looked stupid with his incomplete trim) as long as he could just be with me for a few minutes. While I find that sweet, I also find that pretty disturbing.

About the same time, I have this guy classmate at Lyceum named Brian who I heard humming this song this one time we sat next to each other in class. From there, we engaged in a small talk and I told him about how Goodnight Girl reminded me of this other guy. 

Since then he would tease me by singing the chorus of the song every time he sees me. As in – every time. When he sees me walking at the quadrangle, or in the corridor, inside the classroom…I mean everywhere – I’d suddenly hear him burst into song.

“Caught up in your wishing well, your hopes inside it. Take your love and promises and make them last…”

Since Brian’s a volleyball varsity player, people who hear him singing at the quadrangle every time I pass by (sometimes even kneeling as if he’s serenading me) thought it was just the cutest gesture. Everyone thought that Brian had a thing for me (I really don’t know, he’s probably just teasing), but he didn’t care. He’d always sing me the song. I enjoyed “some popularity” when I was in College for the oddest reasons and this was one of it. After all, Brian was a “crush-ng-bayan” too, like all regular jocks.

After graduation, I haven’t heard from Brian anymore, which wasn’t surprising because we don’t belong in the same major and we only became classmates on our minor subjects. However, many years after, while I was at the University Mall (near La Salle - Taft) buying something after a quick snack at nearby McDonald’s, I heard a familiar voice – a guy singing the chorus of the song Goodnight Girl! I frantically looked everywhere to find where the voice was coming from and my eyes beamed upon seeing Brian after so many years since College! What’s so nice about it is that he still remembers “our” song. Yes. It became our “unofficial” song. What started out as some joke because of some guy, became a lasting memory for another. 

While I really don’t rave about the song, it was still memorable for me. Actually, my Mom always loved the story behind it. She liked hearing me tell it over and over again. Maybe because she thought it was sweet that someone would forever be reminded of me because of one song. I’m sure that whenever Brian hears that, he would think of no one else but me.

 

One after the other

Photo by Tom Podmore on Unsplash

I am not what you’d consider superstitious. As a matter of fact, I find some Filipino superstitions (some even made into movies such as Feng Shui, Pagpag, Sukob, etc.) rather foolish and backwards.

These days, there is so much talk about the “evil eye” wherein a mere glare can cause bad luck, poor health or injury to someone. Usually, an evil eye is malevolent and envious in nature.

Now that we are in the age of social media where a lot of people can see what’s happening based on what one posts on the internet, the evil eye now has a different interpretation: It doesn’t have to be malicious, it doesn’t have to be fueled by covetousness, sometimes people can just jinx another inadvertently. I also read somewhere that someone who loves and cares for you can have the strongest evil eye towards you as the attachment is stronger than that of a random stranger. 

Do I believe it? Not so much. I feel it’s more of a collective frenzy being perpetuated by evil eye fanatics.  

A lot of people would advise against sharing good news, flaunting of one’s wealth or happy events and occasions. They also say if you don’t want your plans jinxed, then it’s better not to announce it. To this, I agree.

See, I notice that when I post good news, or things that I acquired, such as a recognition or award, or anything that I’m just happy to share not for the purpose of flaunting it—something unfortunate happens almost immediately. 

People may think it’s hypocritical of me to believe in this but not of the evil eye. The reason why I don’t believe in the concept of a glare causing bad luck is because I find it narcissistic to think that someone is out to “get” me so they wish me bad things. Frankly, there’s nothing in my life to be envious about or for other people to covet what I have. 

Let me just say I’m more of a believer in the balance of good and bad luck. Sometimes when you bask on the good things that’s happening to you way too much to the point of announcing it to the world, you are also somewhat summoning the bad things.

So yeah, maybe in that way, I’m superstitious.

***

Just last week, after a buffet with my mom’s side of the family, I was paralyzed by what I can only describe as the worst food poisoning ever.

For someone with a hefty appetite and love for street food, it wasn’t my first time to get a foodborne illness. I remember this one very humiliating time many years ago that I was schlepped out in a stretcher from our office building in Pasig to nearby Medical Center after overeating skewered pig intestines for dinner and then felt sick at work (I was on the graveyard shift then). I was throwing up non-stop and had a really bad stomachache that our company doctor decided to bring me to ER.

But what happened to me last week was something else. We had the lunch buffet on Sunday but I start feeling sick Monday evening. It was hellish. It was an epic combination of nausea and diarrhea which went on until early morning of Tuesday that I had to call-in sick the last minute at work.

Back then when I had mild food poisoning, throwing it up a couple of times would already make me feel better. Such things, I usually just wait out. Last Monday was different. I had to run to the toilet several times and then throw up violently after. Repeat that about six or seven more times. I feel I got no more liquid left in my body to spew or poop out. I was so tired that my kuya and mom were already asking me if I wanted to be brought to the ER as they fear I’d get dehydrated, but I refused as I don’t want to have an embarrassing episode in public.

Finally, after several trips to the bathroom, I fell asleep exhausted. Early the next morning and still feeling so weak, I messaged my boss and explained to her what’s happening. I gave myself two days to completely rest. 

Until now, I can’t say that everything’s okay because I still feel my gut hasn’t recovered yet. I may be getting older and therefore my body can’t adjust as well as it did, but as with most common illnesses these days, most of it are exponentially worse for some reason.

Two days of being bed-ridden made me think a lot about what happened. First was how it’s hard to confirm that the buffet was the culprit because there’s too many of us, including my senior mom and her older sister, my aunt, but only me and my brothers were hit (following my incident, kuya and my younger brother also had gut issues after).

Second was how it made me think that posting about some of my happy events may have triggered unfortunate ones. When I look back, it’s almost getting to be a pattern. 

I can’t explain it, but it’s like a cycle of one after the other. 

My Valentine

Photo by Megan Stallings on Unsplash

How do you know you are really missing someone?

I know that I really miss the person when he would cross my mind during the busiest part of my day, and not when I am about to sleep.

Just like that quote that says: “It’s about who you miss at 2:00 in the afternoon when you’re busy, not at 2:00 in the morning when you’re lonely.”

I think of many things while lying in bed at night. I lose sleep over the most trivial of things. I think about the bills I have to pay; I think about why the KFC Original recipe had gotten so salty; I think about what song I want to be playing on my funeral; I think about the errands that I have to run the next day. Heck, I even think about that class bully that made my life a living hell in fourth grade. 

There’s nothing special about a person crossing your mind at the end of the day when you’re all alone in your thoughts. What’s special is when you think of someone during the day when you’re supposed to be preoccupied. It’s when you’re around a lot of people and you are suddenly reminded of the person and you wish you were with them instead. 

And with each thought is a pause. Then it just hits you hard.

Cool mornings

Photo by David Mao on Unsplash

A few days ago, Baguio City temperature dropped to its coldest so far at 9.8°C.

The past few days, we are also enjoying lower temperatures here in Metro Manila, with the coldest recorded at 19.9°C (yes, that’s cold already), the reason why I find it so hard to get up in the morning.

The northeast monsoon (Amihan) is what causes the breezy air. This is the cool and dry northeast wind coming from Siberia and China and blows down to Southeast Asia. We were expecting this as early as November, but it wasn’t as strong as it was, which is why the Christmas season last year felt nothing like Christmas.

It’s a good thing that for some reason, Amihan got stronger this month. At least we can get to enjoy a few days (hopefully weeks!) of cold weather before another hellish summer is upon us.

I am what you’d call “lamigin” in Tagalog. I get cold easily. A stay in a room with an AC on full blast (like when we stay at hotels), you can see me covered from head to toe. I always say I won’t last living anywhere where it can get very cold, unless there’s someone I can cuddle with, to which I’d say, bring it (the cold) on!  

Anyhow, I’m having a good night’s sleep these days. Thanks to the nippy weather and the Magnesium Glycinate supplement I take before I go to sleep.

My Pet Peeves that no one asked for

Photo by Andre Hunter on Unsplash

We all have that something that we find especially annoying. For some it’s just one or two things, for the others, there are just too many. There are the common ones that is the same with most people and there are those that is particular to you. We are wired differently; what can drive you crazy may be harmless and okay to some.

Let me share some of my biggest pet peeves and see which of it is also yours.

• Eating with a group of people and splitting the bill evenly

I don’t expect people to pay for me (yes, even on dates!), so before I dine out with anyone, I make sure to look at the restaurant menu online, so I know what to order once I’m there. I know more or less how much I will be paying for my meal and usually I stick to that.

So, it annoys the hell out of me to be eating with a group and everyone orders something that cost significantly higher than what I ordered and then by the time the bill comes, they’d split it evenly.

There was a time that I went on an eat-out with friends and I have like 1,000 pesos for my budget which I thought was good enough because the meal I’ll be ordering would only cost me less than 500 pesos. The others ordered rounds of beer, desserts, appetizers, etc. Some of my male friends brought their wives and kids along, so they ordered something for them as well. When it was time to pay the bill, my female friend suggested to split the bill evenly among us. When the husbands were handing out the share for what their wives and kids ordered, that same female friend said it was “okay na”. Before I can even protest, everybody starts getting cash from their wallet. Surely it couldn’t’ve been just me who does not agree divvying up the bill.

Result? I was left with about a few pesos just enough to get me a jeepney ride home.

If I’m going to go broke whenever I eat out with them, then I’d rather not be invited anymore.

• Telling me that something smells bad and then asking me to smell it.

This is my all-time pet peeve for having a heightened sense of smell. If something smells bad already, don’t ask me to smell it. I believe you.

• People in a public transport watching in their cellphones without earphones.

I don’t need to know what Tiktok video or Tulfo episode you are watching. And I don’t think the other passengers are interested too.

What’s worse: FaceTiming/video calling without headphones.

• People sneezing and coughing without covering their nose/mouth.

I hate this so much so that I made an entire post about this.  This has been a big aversion of mine even before the pandemic. So, it drives me crazy when people still do this after we all went through hell because of COVID.

• Using apostrophe-s to indicate plurals.

This is self-explanatory. Apostrophe-s is used to indicate possession, not make the nouns plural.

Under this: The classic your and you’re. If you tell me “Your pretty”, I will have a hard time believing you.

• Women reapplying lipstick after meal without brushing their teeth (or even gargling).

Biggest ick.

Don’t we all know that Kalinga/Igorot/Ilokano song Salidummay Di-Way that goes, “Lipistik ka ng lipistik di ka naman nag brush your teeth”?

Girls, your ulam does not go with the waxy taste of your lipstick.

• Leaving toothpaste globs in the sink.

What’s worse: Skid (poop) marks in the toilet bowl – super disgusting.

Just wash it down, FCOL.

• Freeloaders.

We all have that one moocher friend or relative. They are those who are perpetually broke so they think it’s a valid reason to leech off on other people because it’s easier for them to do that than better their situation.  

They are also the ones who doesn’t bring anything on group potlucks, but eats the most food. Or that cousin who asks for money but never pays back. 

• Not staying to the right when walking.

This was something that was taught to us in kindergarten. It’s the most basic rule when walking and a pedestrian etiquette that we all should follow but many people don’t.  

• Overusing the pinoy expression “Tao Lang.”

I hate this expression because it appears like we should excuse a wrong just because we’re only human who are bound to make mistakes. Some think that saying this automatically removes any accountability. 

The thing that gets me all riled with this expression is usually the manner of how it was said which almost always lacks remorse or regret.

• Someone messaging me “Hey, Vayie!”, “Hey, question.” — then nothing follows/no context.

This is another one of the things that irks me bigtime especially if it’s from someone who isn’t a close friend of mine. I’m sure it isn’t about the person being socially awkward, but I see it more as a conversation trap. They wouldn’t even give any follow-up until you reply first. 

Some people use this technique to check if the other is available for a chat, but I’d rather that they get straight to the point. If people that I’m not very close with do this, I usually leave them on “seen” until they tell me what they want.

• Loud talkers.

This was something that I can tolerate when I was younger but not so much anymore as I got older. I see this as wanting to get attention, nothing else.

• Spitting in public.

Is it just me who would rather see a poop on the sidewalk than a spit? 

There is already a policy against this but there are still people who can get away with it. 

Sadly, this is a very boomer trait, as they are usually the ones who think that there’s nothing wrong with it.  

• People taking so long to order.

Realizing the reason why the line is moving a glacial pace is because the person in front was just standing there staring at the menu display board like it was Henry Cavill’s half-naked bod.

I think most of us should already have a vague idea of what we want to order once we fall in line. 

Digital burning at stake

Photo by Markus Winkler on Unsplash

Filipino-American stand-up comedian Jo Koy is all over the news for all the wrong reasons after hosting the Golden Globes.

I didn’t even bother watching his monologue when he was trending on X (formerly Twitter) because second-hand embarrassment is real. By all accounts, he tanked. His jokes were punching down, he poked fun on Taylor Swift and even made a misogynist (oh, people love this word!) Barbie joke. And when people weren’t amused, he said he didn’t write the jokes and that he was a last-minute choice. 

Frankly, just hearing all about it, it’s cringey. 

I like Jo Koy, and while I understand that not everyone finds him funny, I think he’s just alright. Sure, I find some of his jokes rather corny, and sometimes his whole schtick of making fun of his mom’s accent can be tiring and repetitive, but comedy has always been subjective. I mean, Dave Chapelle is my favorite stand-up but there are times his humor elicited horrified gasps from me. 

This was not the first time I had encountered people hating on Jo. There was a time when my Tiktok FYP are all videos of people who are hating him and saying how they like Rex Navarette better. Furthermore, his movie “Easter Sunday”, while it’s supposed to be a feel-good Filipino family movie, was also not as well-received especially in the Filipino-American Community in the States.

To each his own. I am not in any way invalidating what others think of Jo because as I’ve said, he’s not always funny. I just realized that some people had so much time in their hands for just pure hate.

The overwhelming negative comments from his recent hosting were just downright brutal, and some people should really chill and take it easy. If you don’t like how he hosted in the Golden Globes, why be so nasty about it?

People are going, “Because he’s so embarrassing!”. I mean, come on, like none of the high-profile people in The Beverly Hilton and everyone watching at home that night ever made an ass of themselves at one point or another. 

“Oh, but she made fun of our queen, Taylor!”—NOPE. The punchline was not even for Taylor and it was the tamest joke! But when the camera pans at Taylor and she looks unamused while sipping her drink, the fans were all up in arms. Had none of you ever watched Ricky Gervais? 

It’s sad that the line between criticism and hateful speech is so thin. I’ve seen so many saying that it’s been a long time coming and that they’re just so happy to witness Jo Koy’s downfall. Really? You wish for his downfall? Over what? A routine that you find unfunny? Some people are just leaking schadenfreude from their ears. 

Unless someone is pure evil, I never believed in kicking somebody when he’s already down. 

It’s even sadder that the cruelest comments are coming from Filipinos. But why am I even surprised? It’s very Filipino to claim him when he's doing good and cancel him at the slightest fails. Also, while I don’t believe “crab mentality” is specific to Filipinos, it was after all a Filipino-coined term.

Jo Koy issue aside, internet has become so filled with people just spewing hate. Cancel Culture is like that mob who burn people at the stake back in the Middle Ages only now it’s more about publicly shaming someone online. I believe the roots of Cancel Culture is empowerment, but lately it’s getting to be destructive. This has become the climate especially during the pandemic, when people are on lockdown and got nothing much to do. When people see something that they perceive as terrible, problematic and unacceptable, most no longer bother listening or investigating, they just react. 

Herd mentality is also at its peak these days. This is the tendency of some to follow the crowd: “If they are hating someone, let’s hate `em too”-kind of thing. The danger here is that it doesn’t usually involve critical thinking. You view anyone that has an opposing views an enemy instead of accepting that there are diversity in values and thoughts. 

There’s nothing wrong raising awareness and wanting accountability, but we should all take a step back and think if the manner we react creates positive change or a negative divide. If the way you send your message across is through assassinating one’s character and throwing destructive insults, then you are part of the bigger problem.