...and so this was Christmas

Christmas 2022 went by as fast as it came and with it are some adult thoughts and realizations:

• Christmas is only a holiday enjoyed by kids. Even with the long preparation and merriment weeks leading to it, come the 25th it’s just an ordinary day to adults.

• Some people will not hesitate to ruin Christmas for you. Whether they intentionally leave you out of their plans or sabotage your plans, they just don’t have the consideration not to do it on the supposed most wonderful day of the year. Sometimes you’ll just wonder if they purposely chose this very day to suck the fun out of you.

I managed to get a discounted, employee-rate booking the last minute for Christmas Day, considering the high occupancy. I made plans for the family to spend Christmas there since we weren’t expecting any visitors or relatives coming over (it had been that way for about three years now, since most of the elders passed away). The last minute my mom threw a tantrum and said she will not be coming and would rather go straight home after visiting Daddy at the columbarium. We knew she had no plans to stay overnight, but not coming at all? That hurts because I was the one who planned it.

Then come at night, my younger brother who was supposed to follow was told by mom to just stay home because she’s all alone and, “wala akong kasama”. That is, even if my younger brother was also looking forward for some R&R with his kids at the hotel. This ticked me off bigtime, because if she came, we’ll all spend Christmas together and no one will be left behind. It’s just a night stay, for crying out loud, not even a full 24-hours.

So yeah, no Christmas family picture for us this year.

• It is a season for giving, I know, but sometimes adults go absolutely broke and the realization of this bitter truth sinks immediately the day after (Boxing Day). Some people (family members included) also think this day is all about spending money and that it’s normal to go for broke and worry about it some other time. For the breadwinners, it’s that one day you’ll resent being one because the spending was non-stop. If you complain about spending the slightest, you are being a Christmas Grinch devoid of generosity.

• Do not buy Christmas gifts online if you don’t want to experience the same aggravation I had. Due to high order volume during their holiday campaigns, many of my Shopee orders didn’t make it on time for Christmas. My packages spent weeks in their delivery hub, then on the day when it was supposed to be delivered, their system showed it as “Out for delivery” but delivery failed due to “Insufficient time”. I seriously think they didn’t make any attempt at all to deliver on the day they said so, they just wanted to show that there was movement in the tracking. I followed-up days after Christmas, and their Customer Service sent me an e-mail saying that one of my orders was declared lost and the other had to be returned to seller. 

• There will be moments you’ll realize that if not for the compulsory exchange gifts/Secret Santa, you’ll get no gift for Christmas. 

• Re-gifting is a common practice more than we ever realize. While one may appreciate the thought, sometimes one just have no space for another knick-knack, bric-a-brac, or a lotion and body wash set you’ll never use (and would sit in your dresser till next year). I’ve received some gifts which I think wasn’t really bought for me but the giver probably just regifted it to me because if the giver knew me, they’ll know I don’t use strong-scented lotions. 

I’m not offended getting a regift—because I’d do the same without any guilt. I’d rather give the gift to someone who I think would appreciate it more than I do. 

• And just because I carry myself well, it doesn’t mean I don’t need a cash gift. Duh. 

You still have until the New Year to send cash my way, though. LOL.

• That there is always that one VIP on every Christmas family reunion that everyone gives special treatment and attention to. Most of the time, it’s the one who’s well-off or the one vacationing from abroad. For the rest of us, who are deemed not as important, they can certainly do away without us being present in family gatherings.

Don't get me wrong though, even with all these realizations, Christmas is still, and will always be, my favorite time of the year and will continue looking forward to it. I should just learn how to manage some of my expectations and not to count too much on the Christmas spirit next time.

My space

Last weekend, I woke up from a very nice, restful sleep and read a reply on a tweet I posted a few days ago. It was me talking to myself (which is what I usually do in Twitter anyways) and saying that I don’t find feminine features in a man attractive. I actually said so after having a conversation with a friend about preferences and it kinda stuck in my head long enough for me to tweet about it.

That morning I saw this reply to that harmless tweet:

Since he used the acronym IMO on me, it would only be fair me to say that personally as well, I don’t appreciate this reply and it did hit a nerve. Call me touchy but I don’t think we should normalize calling out people on their own post, on their own space and more so when talking about one’s preference.

Point me to that rule that I should not be talking about my preferences online. Especially when I did not post this as a reply to another person’s post for him to conveniently preach that I shouldn’t be volunteering this information. 

Firstly, it didn’t have any antagonistic intent. It was not meant to insult the group of people I was describing. If some people find that tweet insensitive then that is overreaching. I usually say things not with the objective to appease or upset people. How they take it is their problem, but since this is Twitter, I say people should just chill. This is nothing but a void. You take what you like, ignore what you don’t. Jeez, if I get offended by every little thing I see online then I shouldn’t be on it. I see a lot of things there everyday that I don’t necessarily agree with, but I don’t call each and every people out.

What’s weird is that while I know this person, we are not following each other on Twitter. How he ended up on my Twitter profile and then singled-out this tweet baffles me. I also find it funny how he used the word “logic” when what I said does not require logic because I certainly was not giving a statement that is true for everyone else. As what I said to him in reply, if I read a tweet stating dislike on a feature I have—I will not be bothered by it all. 

And I wonder, if I said something he agrees to, will he call me out on behalf of the other people who might feel bad about what I said? I don’t think so. 

But let me say that he was right at one thing: It is my space. Quit telling people to stop posting something you don’t necessarily agree with especially when you can simply ignore, mute, unfollow or unfriend. 

My December so far

It’s just nine days till Christmas and my body is already on “Holiday mode”. This is the time when I wish I could just spend the days leading to Christmas lounging around and just taking it easy, but I already had a week-long leave earlier in the month.

I was out of office for a total of 10 days (that’s with the leaves and the weekend) from December 2-12— the longest I’ve ever been this year. I don’t actually have any plans for those days, just wanting to escape the added stress of work even for the meantime. As I’ve been saying, this year, especially the latter part of it, was brutal because of my mommy’s several health scares.

I don’t have that many get-togethers to talk about either. On the eve of my birthday, my team had our little meet-up at a restaurant in Ayala Malls Circuit, coinciding the company’s Holiday Party that is also happening on the event grounds. 

I enjoyed our team get-together more than the company party. It’s so nice seeing everyone outside MS Teams and just having a nice chat over pizza, salad and pasta. And boy, did we have a lot of it!

We had our exchange gift after a very filling lunch

PRST - Projects Morning girls. It’s so nice not to talk shop for once.

Birthday song and cheers from the whole team for me.

A gratuitous groufie with the team because we’d probably not see each other in months after this

After our lunch we all went to Globe Circuit Event Grounds where the Holiday party is being held. It was just a short walk from the mall but a bit difficult for me because I was carrying a big bag of gifts and was wearing a girly pair of sandals on a grassy lot.

We had to register to get inside and I was handed out this ticket and a candy cane.

Actually I just went there to register so I could be included in the raffle but really had no plans to stay. Not when there’s too many people and not enough tables and chairs for everyone. We also have to visit each stalls to get food and snacks but I wasn’t hungry at that point. 

I looked for kuya and his friend Albert and we all left together within 15-20 minutes of me being there. Call me KJ but I’m just not that comfortable around large crowds anymore. Crowd anxiety, y’all!

Too crowded

The next day was my 46^th  birthday, just went out for some Starbucks brunch while waiting for the 12nn mass at Greenbelt Chapel. It was particularly quiet—just me replying to birthday messages. I went home after the mass and spent the rest of the afternoon sleeping. 

On the 7th, with nothing to do feeling bored at home, I went to see “Black Panther: Wakanda Forever” after a month of its release. That only goes to show that after “Avengers Endgame”, I’m not that big on MCU anymore. The movies that were released after 2019 didn’t give me the same thrill of the movies of Phases One to Three. No wonder, the movies and series released after were all belly flops—at least in comparison to the earlier MCU films. But I’ll save this discussion for another post.

On the 9th, Friday, I had a buffet lunch with the family and a friend and then went straight to check-in at Holiday Inn & Suites for a two-night stay because that’s how the kids wanted to celebrate my birthday. Yes, pala-desisyon sila.

I get asked many times why, when I’m always at the mall every weekend, I still choose Holiday Inn & Suites - Glorietta for my staycation. For that, ask my nephews because they will choose it over the bigger rooms of Holiday Inn - Manila Galleria or other hotels for that matter. I guess we feel right at home there. If we want to get something, we can simply go out to the mall that we’re all familiar with. The kids knew Glorietta like the back of their hands. It’s also easier for mommy to go home (she insists on going home and not stay for the night) or get things we forgot at home that we needed for our stay. 

Room 620 for this stay

My bros goofing around

Not blowing 46 candles inside the room as it might trigger the sprinklers. LOL.

Cousin Chi was there and brought me a cake.

We checked-in at 2PM of Friday and checked-out by 1PM of Sunday. It was short but it was okay. At least I got to spend some birthday downtime. For a moment we have escaped the infernal December heat (which is weird because the weather should be nippy by now). Sure I’m still baby-sitting my two nephews most of the time but I had much-needed rest and relaxation still. I’m not gonna complain.

Hello, December `22

And just like that, it’s already December. In a few days I’ll be blowing candles again.

Last week I had a self-photoshoot at Stills Studio in Makati. I don’t know why it was something that I wanted to do a few days before my birthday, but I went on with it even while nursing a bad headache and came out enjoying every minute of it. 

I’m well-aware that some people are secretly sneering at this thing which they think is nothing but a middle-aged woman’s unnecessary expression of vanity, but that’s one of the reasons why I did it. It’s a statement on how I stopped giving a D at what other people think. As long as I have the support of my family who all thought it was a good idea—those who have something to say about it can zip it. 

My motivation was simple — I’m not getting any younger, so while I can strike a pose then I guess there’s nothing to it, as that `90s Madonna song goes. 

One day you’ll just wake up and the younglings are no longer calling you “ate” but “tita”. You’ll see lines in your face that weren’t there before. One day you’ll wake up old. It will hit you ominously that age has crept in. There will always be that palpable ache. How you look now, won’t be the look you’ll have forever. 

So while I still can smile on the camera, please indulge me.

As always, I took good pictures and had bad ones too. Some of the shots emphasized my set of eyebags (that sort of reminded me of the Goodyear blimp), or that constant photobomber that is my double chin, or that not-so-yummy muffin top that magically appears when I’m seated. 

But it also captured my winningest smile and my deep set of big eyes—both my saving grace for not being as pretty as most girls. It’s also the two things I want people to remember me by, even after many more birthdays I hope.

So, hello, December. Let’s all pray that this will be the most wonderful month of my rather stressful year.