My Wishful Thinking Wishlist

In a few more days, we’ll hear Jose Mari Chan’s “Christmas In Our Hearts” and Mariah Carey’s “All I Want for Christmas Is You” being played in the malls on repeat preparing us for the merry yuletide season.

The Philippines has the longest Christmas season lasting more than three months. You can hear Christmas Carols as early as September and the festive spirit doesn’t go away until a few days after New Year. For this reason, it’s always been my favorite time of the year.

Apart from many other wonderful reasons why it’s my favorite season, it’s also the time to make our Christmas wishlist!

Every year, my kumares and I would have this Secret Santa tradition which we’ve been doing for more than ten years now. We use an online Secret Santa generator to randomly assign a person to each other since we don’t get to meet that often to draw names. Besides, there’s just four of us; it would be easier to adjust the settings so we won’t be assigned to the same Santa from the previous year.

Back then we’re happy to get a bottle of Victoria Secret Body Spray or a throw pillow; now, this is something that we take seriously. With our game faces on, we spend months making our wishlist. With the long preparation, some of us are guilty of doing so many revisions (Tetay—*coughs*) that we have agreed to have a deadline when it comes to revising the list.

As we are just your regular people, we set an amount for the wishlist and make sure that everyone is comfortable with it. For a while now, this year included, we have it at 1,000 PHP.

However, with this budget, creating a wishlist is becoming harder every year. If we’d all be honest about it, what we want usually exceeds the amount that was agreed upon. It’s not uncommon that our items would cap the budget by a few hundreds that’s why we’d often indicate in our list: “Will pay the excess” (but sometimes in the spirit of gift-giving, we no longer ask the recipient to pay it).

So what if—for fun’s sake—we are to make a wishlist wherein the cost of the item we want for Christmas is not really an issue? (Although it still has to be realistic. You can’t just ask for a house and lot or a brand new car, can you?)

I mean, think about it: Wouldn’t it be a lot easier to make a list if you have Oprah Winfrey as your kumare?

Having said this, let me play along with that thought. Let me share with you what I’d like to call my Wishful Thinking Wish List. 

Tumi Voyageur Dori Leather Backpack 

I am not your branded handbag kind of girl. I don’t even own a Coach, Hermes, Chanel or LV and I’m perfectly fine with that because, heck, I wouldn’t even know the difference! My few branded ones were just given to me by my relatives abroad and I hardly use them.

I prefer carrying an unbranded cavernous bag where everything can fit inside (I’m a certified Tita—go figure!) or a small backpack because I can carry it next to my chest when I’m at crowded places.

But this one right here is something that would force me to be nice all year, so Santa baby can hurry down the (imaginary) chimney to give one to me. I have read a lot of good reviews for this particular brand, especially its leather collection. Pam Pastor’s recent Instagram rave sold me because I subject my bags to the same abuse.

It’s roomy and sturdy, and you can even personalize it!

Until then, I’d probably end up getting just the nylon version of this backpack which is a lot cheaper.

Price: PHP 31,062

Melissa Space Love IV AD – Light Pink 

Not a bag person, not a shoe person either. I am really the antithesis of any regular girl.

I’m the type who would choose comfort over style. Which is why you will not see me sashaying in high heels or stilettos unless if it’s at a party where I need to dress up. Most of my shoes were chosen for only two reasons: comfort and price. As long as I can wear it without it giving me calluses and leg pain, I’d wear it even if it’s bought at SM, Zenco Footstep or a discount footwear chain like Payless.

While not often, I’d sometimes give in and fork out for an expensive pair. I own a few pairs of Melissa and it did take me some penny-pinching as this brand is pricier than other jelly flats. No regrets though, as I think they’re pretty and I love how they go on my feet.

I want to add this one to my collection so bad that if I don’t get it for a gift somehow—I’d end up buying this for myself. Again.

Sigh. 

Price: PHP3,250

Imarflex DD-787 3-Layer Cabinet Dish Dryer 

Laugh all you want at the “tita-ness” of this, but when I saw this at the Imarflex Factory Outlet last Saturday, it was something I want since then for our kitchen.

No more wet kitchen counters! No more leaving the plates, glasses, and utensils on a strainer basin to drip! No more wiping! Just place everything inside, turn the knob and leave!

Price: PHP 10,000 (Outlet Price: PHP 7,000) 

HUAWEI MateBook 13 

The “MacBook for Windows” — I have heard of good reviews for this one. It’s small, sleek and packed with great hardware. Its matte finish is just gorg! It also has a touch fingerprint sensor right in the power button and has a large trackpad perfect for my fat Bratwurst fingers.

As my cellphone is also a Huawei, its built-in Huawei Share would make the transfer of pictures and files easier and faster.

Yes, this may sound like an appeal for pity, but I still blog with my cellphone, thankyouverymuch.

Price: 
PHP 55,990 (8GB RAM/256GB SSD, Intel Core i5);
PHP 69,990 (8GB RAM/512GB SSD, Intel Core i7) 

Young Living Deep Relief™ Roll-On 

This one will be particularly handy to bring along every day to substitute my strong-smelling liniments (reeking of Katinko is giving away my age).

I became a fan of Peppermint and Wintergreen oil not only because it eased my back and neck pains, but it also helped me when I have tummy problems. I am also getting quite addicted to sniffing it.

Oh my God, how tita can you get, `no?

Young Living is known to be the best when it comes to oil-based health and wellness solutions. It sets itself apart from the many essential oils that are available in the market because of its strict distillation process. A lot of my friends vouch for its efficacy.

The thing about Young Living, which perhaps is the reason why a lot of people are still not very keen about it, is that it’s a multi-level marketing company (MLM). Members will entice you to sign up to enjoy big discounts.

Their oils are also more expensive than the others, but I guess there’s always a high price to pay for relief.

Price: PHP 2,250 (10 ml.)

John Dillinger Red Demi glasses from Owndays

I have already lost count of all the reading/progressive frames I’ve broken. 

I would wear one in bed, take it off and then forget it’s just right there. Only when I hear a faint crack will I realize that I’ve either sat or laid down on it. Bye bye, glasses.

This one right here is made of plastic and titanium so I do hope it will be stronger than the frames usually available at your regular “granny optical shops” in Quiapo (but then again, I have a big butt so let’s see).

Here’s another one in my wishlist that I’d end up buying for myself anyway because I need it.

Price: PHP 5,990

Foreo Luna Mini 2

While I don’t wear heavy make-up to work (just a trusted mineral powder foundation and blush, eyebrow pencil, lipstick and pressed powder), the pollution in Manila is so terrible that cleaning your skin has become a must.

God bless my genes as I don’t have any wrinkles yet at 42 (turning 43), but my chubby cheeks might not stand a chance against gravity any longer. So I don’t just need something to deep-clean my face, I need some tool to firm my skin as well.

This sonic facial cleansing tool promises an all-day glow in just one minute. Just what a lazy girl like me needs.

Price: ₱7,538.00

Sonny Portable Bidet

I am a Filipina. Toilet paper just doesn’t cut it. And it has nothing to do with being eco-conscious, it is all about personal hygiene.

This explains why for me, seeing a tabo (dipper) in a public restroom is like seeing a 500-peso bill on the floor. I was one of those who rejoiced when the office finally installed a bidet on one of our cubicles.

Because you see, it’s not truly clean until we wash it.

So imagine my reaction when I saw this on my FB timeline. Dubbed as the “iPod Nano of butts”, Sonny is made of anodized aluminum that stores water in a cartridge. It has a normal and high-pressure spray option (just saying that feels refreshing) that you can control it with a touch of a button.

While it’s not handy enough to carry inside a purse, the portability is a plus because you can use it even in your own bathroom without the need for complicated installation or expensive retrofitting.

It’s not available locally as it is a crowdfunded product, but I was imagining Oprah as my kumare, right?

Price: $89 (roughly PHP 4,700.00), crowdfunding on Indiegogo

There you have it, my very shameless Wishful Thinking Wishlist that is more like extortion in disguise. Why should I not be greedy every once in a while and wish for these items?

Then again, I’ve now snapped out of it. I’m back to making my 1,000-peso wishlist.

How about you? What would be on your list?

(P.S. Cuatro Amigas—I will not trade anyone of you for Oprah. Ever.)

You Deplete Me

If there’s something I’ve learned over years of dealing with all sorts of people, that is to make sure to stay away from those who can saddle me with their toxicity and negativity.

I don’t know who came with the idea to use the word toxic to describe a person whose behavior can leave you exhausted and emotionally drained, but whoever did so was right about one thing: Toxic people can be as destructive and damaging.

Toxic people are the ones who create drama; manipulate others through their neediness; drag other people down; spread negativity and hatred; heavily criticize others; think solely of themselves; make others feel guilty over something, etc.

When I was younger and obviously more naïve, I always believed that when you show a person some goodness, that person will give back the same good to you. I realized that while this isn’t entirely false, it is also not always true. Some people can just be so selfish.

For the longest time I basked in the role of everybody’s “ate” or big sister—someone who you can run to for advice and support about anything with no judgment.

While my intentions to help are true and I did all of that with genuineness and sincerity, I realized it became an emotionally unhealthy cycle. I’d find myself immersed in other people’s woes and conflicts more than I ever wanted to.

*** 

Once I have this friend from many years back, let’s call her Y, who was in a very turbulent relationship.

I was always there for her. One call and I’ll come running to her house where I’d find her crying miserably and wallowing in self-pity.

No amount of relationship advice gets through her, especially that Y only has one justification whenever I tell her to break up with the guy: “I love him, ate.” — Never mind if the guy was abusive and had been cheating on her, never mind if this guy had been treating her like garbage.

One moment they’re okay, then things turn very nasty again. When this happens, Y will call me, and while she doesn’t say it straight out, she’d make me feel that if I were a real friend, then I must drop everything for her.

Y called me one afternoon and said she wants to take her life. At the time, I wasn’t sure if she will make true of her threat but I don’t want to risk and regret it if ever.

On my way to her house, I was so scared I’d find her cold and dead and I imagined myself being forever traumatized by it.

I saw her slumped on her bed with her wrist slashed. There was blood on the sheets, but I can tell that the wound wasn’t fatal.

I was obviously panic-stricken and exhausted beyond words when I got there, but Y doesn’t even care how her ‘stunt’ can affect me mentally.

She is willing to do everything for attention and she got it. After a few days, I heard she was back with her boyfriend again as if nothing happened.

The last straw came when Y made a scene on my birthday—of all days. I didn’t know that she and her boyfriend were on a break at the time but both of them showed up.

Before I know it, the tension escalated and Y was already drinking more than she could handle. She was mumbling loud enough for everyone to hear: “He killed our baby! He killed our baby!” (obviously referring to an abortion).

And in what I would describe as awfully climactic, Y finally had too much and vomited all over the house, ruining the night for me and everyone else present. I found myself apologizing to the other guests who witnessed the drama. A guy friend was gracious enough to help me clean up the mess.

My parents were fuming mad when they found out what happened and I got an earful on how I don’t know how to choose people I associate myself with.

My niece gave me a reality check: “Pino-problema mo kasi ang problema ng ibang tao!” (It’s because you make other people’s problems your problem!)

It made me think hard if she actually considers me a friend simply because you don’t subject your friend to that.

You don’t ruin your friend’s special day for your own drama. You don’t make a friend clean up your mess. You don’t embarrass your friend in front of other people. You don’t let your friend get in trouble with her folks.

Ultimately, that was when I decided to cut her off my life for good.

*** 

While this incident with Y speaks ‘toxic’ on every angle, there are people who are more subtle but can still be considered as toxic.

A judgmental relative who made it a pastime to criticize people; 

An officemate who seems to be getting along with everyone—but catching her on more than one occasion badmouthing another colleague; 

A person who perennially thinks that he’s always the victim of circumstance beyond his control; 

An over-jealous narcissistic boyfriend who wants you all to himself but was the one cheating on you; 

An invasive social media follower who shows up to your house unannounced;

A High School friend who believes you are insecure of her and has found so many ways to slyly put you down;

A Facebook friend posting rants intended for a specific person.

All I’ve mentioned above are just some of the toxic people I dealt with once upon a time. Trying to reason with them has left me emotionally wiped-out and at some point, even made me sick.

If every year of my life is represented by a matchstick, dealing with a negative person burns out that matchstick.

***

There’s nothing wrong wanting to get along with everyone, but if it is already taking a toll on your overall well-being, then it’s no longer wise to continue having relationship with them.

This year I’ve gotten more zealous in cutting ties with negative people. I have learned to have limitations and set boundaries. The moment I feel the slightest surge in my blood pressure, heaviness on my chest or an anxiety attack/stress brewing caused by another person—I avoid that person like the plague. If it’s someone on my online circle, I have no hesitation unfollowing them.

This took me a lot of courage, but I know it is the right thing to do.  I guess I just don’t have the energy to deal with them anymore.

I now keep a small circle of trusted friends and limit my interaction with people I barely know; I try not to subscribe to another person’s drama; I distance myself from people who zap my happy energy with all their whining and complaining; I no longer feel the need to win an argument or force my opinions on other people; If a possible promotion could mean dealing with difficult people along the way then I don’t want it; I chose not to participate in online message boards over a controversial no-win topic; I also no longer indulge on tsismis and gossips.

In other words, it became a matter of self-preservation. I made it a point to love myself more, even if it means letting go of some people and fake relationships.

I Want!

LEGO® Ideas 21319 CENTRAL PERK set

Spotted this on my FB timeline and I want to cry.

Price: $59.99