Beyond Dismal

In our household, none of us bothered learning how to drive because we never owned a car. Either that — or buying a car was never a priority when none of us knew how to drive anyway.

Quite frankly, if I really want it now and if I’m prepared to do some serious penny-pinching, I think I could afford any from a Suzuki Alto to a Nissan Almera. There are so many auto loans being offered with easier payment terms and low-interest rates these days, which is why in the last few years the volume of passenger cars and commercial vehicles on the road has increased exponentially (thus, the traffic).

My older brother and I came thisclose to getting one, but it just didn’t pan out after careful consideration. Lack of parking area is one; then there’s how we don’t want another responsibility on top of what we’re already paying regularly. We realized that we don’t badly need one, at least not yet, because public transportation is still relatively cheaper (albeit hardly dependable).

You don't know my game

Some of the young people I work with probably think I’m the biggest humdrum and that I’ve always been like that even when I was their age. At times, I wonder if they went as far as imagining me knitting sweaters on weekends (FYI, I don’t know any needlework).

I remember how my jaws dropped when one asked me if I know the band The Cranberries when Dolores O'Riordan died two years ago, and the same person asking me recently if I know who Kobe Bryant was — as if both weren’t even from my time.

To some, older makes you dumber. They think you’re less smart and less competent compared to everyone else. They automatically assume that just because I know zilch about K-Dramas, who Billie Eilish is or what’s on Netflix, that I also don’t know many other things.

Bad Gut

I almost stayed in bed for the entire weekend. My back hurts like hell, felt queasy and disgustingly bloated. I’ve managed to go to the mall after lunch last Saturday thinking I could shake it off but went home after an hour as I wasn’t feeling any better.

The following morning is laundry day. Even if I wasn’t feeling well when I woke up, I dragged my butt; ate two slices of loaf and off I went carrying more than 10 kilos of dirty clothes. If I flake out and stay in bed, I’m pretty sure I’d only feel worse.

The rest of the day, however, was spent inside my room — indisposed.

I wish I knew what’s going on without having to go to the doctor (did you notice how most doctors let their patients wait for hours?). I don’t want to Google my symptoms either—as it will only give me the worst case of cyberchondria because if it isn’t cancer, it is some hard-to-pronounce illness enough to freak out the overthinker in me.

But yeah — I’m not feeling my best lately. It isn’t the flu or anything that I’d catch because of the season, but more of a general feeling of weakness and discomfort.

My main complaint is my gut. There’s seems to be some trouble brewing inside after every meal. It’s not an urge to do number two, just that feeling of heaviness. At first, I thought it’s just me PMS-ing, but now I suspect my intestines are sluggish or even blocked. It seems I can’t digest my food very well and it just stays right in my stomach as belly fat.