Half year gone

This drizzly afternoon is the best time to write a blog. I’m in bed; with no plans of going anywhere, snacks within reach. I’m nursing a mild headache and neck pain, nothing that an over-the-counter anti-inflammatory drug can’t cure, I hope.

We’re done with half of the year, the longest six months for me and I’m sure for everyone else as well. Most of it was spent indoors in isolation, with every one of us trying very hard not to get sick or lose our minds in the process. There were times I’d find myself in a brink of depression due to stress and worry, but thank goodness I am able to pull myself up before I sink.

Retrograde

It was the lies that hurt the most.

It was when he'd say something when in fact it wasn't true.
It's him omitting the details, not telling me things, and what was really going on.
Like his failure to tell me that he was still seeing her. Or the others.
When he said they have no contact, that they don’t see each other anymore.
He lies about being over his ex when he's not, then proceeds to ask how my day went.

I Will Carry On

I’ve been blogging since the early noughties. Those years were the heydays; there was more freedom then. I can talk about anything without much concern about correctness whether it’s political, grammatical, or contextual. There’s not much to filter—I say what I want to say how I would say it. Nothing was ever vapid, mediocre and frivolous. I can talk about anything from an elevator incident, my list of sexiest men, a hilarious interaction, my frustrations over a colleague at work, my day-to-day activities—down to every embarrassing incident, heartbreak and unrequited love. It was pure, fun and almost cathartic.

When I first got into this, it was never my intention to have a readership. Looking back, it was never my goal. Before the internet age, I’ve always been into writing stuff on my notebooks (stories, anecdotes, one-liners, quotes) and I don’t think I ever intend for someone to read it. It’s more about me encapsulating feelings and memories. Even now that I’m accessible, sometimes I still get conscious knowing that this blog and its content is open to scrutiny.