My Pet Peeves that no one asked for

Photo by Andre Hunter on Unsplash

We all have that something that we find especially annoying. For some it’s just one or two things, for the others, there are just too many. There are the common ones that is the same with most people and there are those that is particular to you. We are wired differently; what can drive you crazy may be harmless and okay to some.

Let me share some of my biggest pet peeves and see which of it is also yours.

• Eating with a group of people and splitting the bill evenly

I don’t expect people to pay for me (yes, even on dates!), so before I dine out with anyone, I make sure to look at the restaurant menu online, so I know what to order once I’m there. I know more or less how much I will be paying for my meal and usually I stick to that.

So, it annoys the hell out of me to be eating with a group and everyone orders something that cost significantly higher than what I ordered and then by the time the bill comes, they’d split it evenly.

There was a time that I went on an eat-out with friends and I have like 1,000 pesos for my budget which I thought was good enough because the meal I’ll be ordering would only cost me less than 500 pesos. The others ordered rounds of beer, desserts, appetizers, etc. Some of my male friends brought their wives and kids along, so they ordered something for them as well. When it was time to pay the bill, my female friend suggested to split the bill evenly among us. When the husbands were handing out the share for what their wives and kids ordered, that same female friend said it was “okay na”. Before I can even protest, everybody starts getting cash from their wallet. Surely it couldn’t’ve been just me who does not agree divvying up the bill.

Result? I was left with about a few pesos just enough to get me a jeepney ride home.

If I’m going to go broke whenever I eat out with them, then I’d rather not be invited anymore.

• Telling me that something smells bad and then asking me to smell it.

This is my all-time pet peeve for having a heightened sense of smell. If something smells bad already, don’t ask me to smell it. I believe you.

• People in a public transport watching in their cellphones without earphones.

I don’t need to know what Tiktok video or Tulfo episode you are watching. And I don’t think the other passengers are interested too.

What’s worse: FaceTiming/video calling without headphones.

• People sneezing and coughing without covering their nose/mouth.

I hate this so much so that I made an entire post about this.  This has been a big aversion of mine even before the pandemic. So, it drives me crazy when people still do this after we all went through hell because of COVID.

• Using apostrophe-s to indicate plurals.

This is self-explanatory. Apostrophe-s is used to indicate possession, not make the nouns plural.

Under this: The classic your and you’re. If you tell me “Your pretty”, I will have a hard time believing you.

• Women reapplying lipstick after meal without brushing their teeth (or even gargling).

Biggest ick.

Don’t we all know that Kalinga/Igorot/Ilokano song Salidummay Di-Way that goes, “Lipistik ka ng lipistik di ka naman nag brush your teeth”?

Girls, your ulam does not go with the waxy taste of your lipstick.

• Leaving toothpaste globs in the sink.

What’s worse: Skid (poop) marks in the toilet bowl – super disgusting.

Just wash it down, FCOL.

• Freeloaders.

We all have that one moocher friend or relative. They are those who are perpetually broke so they think it’s a valid reason to leech off on other people because it’s easier for them to do that than better their situation.  

They are also the ones who doesn’t bring anything on group potlucks, but eats the most food. Or that cousin who asks for money but never pays back. 

• Not staying to the right when walking.

This was something that was taught to us in kindergarten. It’s the most basic rule when walking and a pedestrian etiquette that we all should follow but many people don’t.  

• Overusing the pinoy expression “Tao Lang.”

I hate this expression because it appears like we should excuse a wrong just because we’re only human who are bound to make mistakes. Some think that saying this automatically removes any accountability. 

The thing that gets me all riled with this expression is usually the manner of how it was said which almost always lacks remorse or regret.

• Someone messaging me “Hey, Vayie!”, “Hey, question.” — then nothing follows/no context.

This is another one of the things that irks me bigtime especially if it’s from someone who isn’t a close friend of mine. I’m sure it isn’t about the person being socially awkward, but I see it more as a conversation trap. They wouldn’t even give any follow-up until you reply first. 

Some people use this technique to check if the other is available for a chat, but I’d rather that they get straight to the point. If people that I’m not very close with do this, I usually leave them on “seen” until they tell me what they want.

• Loud talkers.

This was something that I can tolerate when I was younger but not so much anymore as I got older. I see this as wanting to get attention, nothing else.

• Spitting in public.

Is it just me who would rather see a poop on the sidewalk than a spit? 

There is already a policy against this but there are still people who can get away with it. 

Sadly, this is a very boomer trait, as they are usually the ones who think that there’s nothing wrong with it.  

• People taking so long to order.

Realizing the reason why the line is moving a glacial pace is because the person in front was just standing there staring at the menu display board like it was Henry Cavill’s half-naked bod.

I think most of us should already have a vague idea of what we want to order once we fall in line. 

Digital burning at stake

Photo by Markus Winkler on Unsplash

Filipino-American stand-up comedian Jo Koy is all over the news for all the wrong reasons after hosting the Golden Globes.

I didn’t even bother watching his monologue when he was trending on X (formerly Twitter) because second-hand embarrassment is real. By all accounts, he tanked. His jokes were punching down, he poked fun on Taylor Swift and even made a misogynist (oh, people love this word!) Barbie joke. And when people weren’t amused, he said he didn’t write the jokes and that he was a last-minute choice. 

Frankly, just hearing all about it, it’s cringey. 

I like Jo Koy, and while I understand that not everyone finds him funny, I think he’s just alright. Sure, I find some of his jokes rather corny, and sometimes his whole schtick of making fun of his mom’s accent can be tiring and repetitive, but comedy has always been subjective. I mean, Dave Chapelle is my favorite stand-up but there are times his humor elicited horrified gasps from me. 

This was not the first time I had encountered people hating on Jo. There was a time when my Tiktok FYP are all videos of people who are hating him and saying how they like Rex Navarette better. Furthermore, his movie “Easter Sunday”, while it’s supposed to be a feel-good Filipino family movie, was also not as well-received especially in the Filipino-American Community in the States.

To each his own. I am not in any way invalidating what others think of Jo because as I’ve said, he’s not always funny. I just realized that some people had so much time in their hands for just pure hate.

The overwhelming negative comments from his recent hosting were just downright brutal, and some people should really chill and take it easy. If you don’t like how he hosted in the Golden Globes, why be so nasty about it?

People are going, “Because he’s so embarrassing!”. I mean, come on, like none of the high-profile people in The Beverly Hilton and everyone watching at home that night ever made an ass of themselves at one point or another. 

“Oh, but she made fun of our queen, Taylor!”—NOPE. The punchline was not even for Taylor and it was the tamest joke! But when the camera pans at Taylor and she looks unamused while sipping her drink, the fans were all up in arms. Had none of you ever watched Ricky Gervais? 

It’s sad that the line between criticism and hateful speech is so thin. I’ve seen so many saying that it’s been a long time coming and that they’re just so happy to witness Jo Koy’s downfall. Really? You wish for his downfall? Over what? A routine that you find unfunny? Some people are just leaking schadenfreude from their ears. 

Unless someone is pure evil, I never believed in kicking somebody when he’s already down. 

It’s even sadder that the cruelest comments are coming from Filipinos. But why am I even surprised? It’s very Filipino to claim him when he's doing good and cancel him at the slightest fails. Also, while I don’t believe “crab mentality” is specific to Filipinos, it was after all a Filipino-coined term.

Jo Koy issue aside, internet has become so filled with people just spewing hate. Cancel Culture is like that mob who burn people at the stake back in the Middle Ages only now it’s more about publicly shaming someone online. I believe the roots of Cancel Culture is empowerment, but lately it’s getting to be destructive. This has become the climate especially during the pandemic, when people are on lockdown and got nothing much to do. When people see something that they perceive as terrible, problematic and unacceptable, most no longer bother listening or investigating, they just react. 

Herd mentality is also at its peak these days. This is the tendency of some to follow the crowd: “If they are hating someone, let’s hate `em too”-kind of thing. The danger here is that it doesn’t usually involve critical thinking. You view anyone that has an opposing views an enemy instead of accepting that there are diversity in values and thoughts. 

There’s nothing wrong raising awareness and wanting accountability, but we should all take a step back and think if the manner we react creates positive change or a negative divide. If the way you send your message across is through assassinating one’s character and throwing destructive insults, then you are part of the bigger problem.  

Happy Holidays! But first, let me tell you about...

I have now turned on my Out-Of-Office message once again (I did so too earlier this month) and couldn’t believe that it’s already Christmas in three days!

I have finished my remaining tasks before the weekend so I thought I should blog as I haven’t written anything here since September. Not that I miss it, I really don’t. But I thought I should just write something for the very few of you who still occasionally checks this site.

So, whatever happened to me since?

Nothing much happened in October. At least not anything worth mentioning.

I had my second tattoo last November. It’s smaller than my previous tattoo and I had it behind my right ear. It’s a single rose wreath and it’s done by the same artist who made my orange cat tattoo.

It’s strange that this teeny tattoo, which is just in black and white ink, was more painful than my first one. I now believe that tattoo placement matters when one is considering what is most and least painful. Nevertheless, I was such a trouper. My pain threshold can embarrass an average man’s.

The thing though is that the artist was an hour late for my appointment, and I was forced to wait outside their condominium unit. Now, this is nothing like the posh condominiums in Makati where there are nice lobbies and waiting areas (Don’t believe me? Check the reviews) so I instead waited helplessly along the dark corridor of the floor sweating and all. I think I caught something because only a day after that I had one of the worst, lingering cough ever. 

I never had the common cold, I just started feeling tired and weak all of a sudden then followed by debilitating body pains. The kind that would make you question your entire existence. I had low-grade fever next, but nothing that a regular paracetamol couldn’t relieve. After that was the worse cough ever that it’s almost like the cough I had when I had COVID, only that this is much more progressive and much more a pain in the you-know-where.

By the next weekend, I forced my body so we could watch E.A.T. live at the TV5 Media Center (I booked it, so I had to be present). This was our second time because we were there on kuya’s birthday last October. It was more fun this time because so much has happened and my younger brother Chito even won 5,000 pesos on the studio audience raffle.  

The next week was my birthday week, but I’m still feeling under the weather. I was hacking like crazy, almost struggling for breath, that by the eve of my birthday on December 5, I decided to get myself checked.

I wasn't really in a hurry, so I took a jeepney ride instead of my usual taxi (or Grab) ride to Makati. The jeepney was quite crowded and I sat beside two men. I was carrying my tiny backpack, which I usually wear on my front for easy access and so that it'll be safe from pickpockets.

I got off the jeepney later on and passed by the drugstore to buy a bottled water. When I opened my bag, that’s when I discovered that my wallet and iPhone were BOTH GONE! 

I realized too late that the man beside me was in cahoots with three others. No wonder they all got off almost at the same time (two got off first, then when the jeepney turned towards the highway, the other two followed).

I feel like keeling over upon realizing that. I don’t have money left in my bag as everything—even my loose change, are inside my wallet. All my credit cards, ATM cards and IDs are gone, including all my money which I plan to spend the next day to treat my family and friends on my birthday.

While so distressed, I snapped out of it and hailed another taxi to go back home because I had to call my bank to block my credit cards and ATM cards. I was crying inside the taxi because this is the first time something like this has ever happened to me and the fact that it happened on the day before my birthday was an even bigger blow.

When I got home, I asked my younger brother to pay for the taxi outside while I called my bank’s hotline. It’s a good thing that emergencies like this are being prioritized and routed to a line with almost no queue, that I was able to block everything in a matter of 5-10 minutes. I also called my service provider’s hotline to deactivate my SIM card and bank apps on my phone.

I feel bad for all the pictures and videos that were saved on my iPhone. I don’t have an iCloud account, so all of those are lost forever. I feel so bad about losing the phone itself because it was a high-ticket purchase and I have no plans of buying something as expensive again. 

That night, I got a notification that my iPhone was at an address in Baclaran, Parañaque.

F*ck that.

Since all my cash were gone and my other funds frozen, my kuya felt really bad for me that he offered to lend me money so at least I could still celebrate my birthday as planned. I declined. Honestly, I’m not in the mood to celebrate all things considered. I’m just down and out. I mean, who wouldn’t?

I tried to think back on what went wrong and what I did differently. I usually don’t take out my wallet and iPhone while inside the jeepney, but this time I did both. I opened my bag and afterwards placed both on top, instead of at the bottom of my bag which is what I’d normally do. I thought that since I’m wearing the backpack on my front, and hugging it even, my things are safe inside. Now that I think of it, there was really that opportunity for the men to single me out because of it. 

I kid you not, I didn’t feel anything apart from the guy squeezing himself on the seat beside me. I can tell that they are seasoned hustlers because the pickpocket even managed to close the zipper of my bag that is why I didn't suspect anything.

My birthday was spent queueing at Globe to have my SIM card replaced. I even had to submit an affidavit for this and it’s good that my younger brother took care of it as he has friends in City Hall. Kuya insisted on giving me cash and I didn’t turn it down anymore because I realized I needed it to run errands that day. 

When I got home, my family were all waiting for me. Kuya bought me a cake and my cousin gave me pancit. I even have a church friend who sent me some cash through kuya (to my surprise) upon seeing my IG story mentioning it. I mean, she didn’t have to, but she did. And I am thankful for her kind gesture.  

Kuya had no problem lending me his spare phone (my Huawei phone was already given to my mom when I had my iPhone), but of course, I preferred having my own phone for personal reasons. Accompanied by my brother, nephews and cousin Chi, I bought a midrange Samsung phone on installment. 

I’m back to my Android era. 

While this incident sent me to a financial ruin that I would feel for months, somehow I handled this bad luck better than anyone would. It didn’t take me so long to realize that even with such tremendous loss, I still have a lot of things to be thankful for. For one thing, I wasn’t hurt—as it’s not uncommon that foiled pickpockets resort to stabbing or hurting the victim out of panic. I was able to get over it rather quickly for I am reminded that things happen for a reason. This might be a costly mistake for me, but lessons are learned.

***

We had our office holiday party on the 10th which was held at the SMX Convention Center. The last time we had it in this venue was in 2019, pre-pandemic.

I still have a bad cough, so I didn’t bother dressing up to the nines. I just wore an all-black cotton dress and my favorite pair of sneakers. When you’re my age, it’s already comfort over style. Besides, I’m not about to pit myself against younger, prettier colleagues. I’m just there to see familiar faces (most I have not seen since the lockdown), for the food and the raffle.

Three days before Christmas, I’m still nursing my chronic cough. That is, even if I was prescribed a strong antibiotic two weeks ago. While it eased a little, I’m still suffering from this nagging cough.  Another doctor suggested I just hydrate, and didn’t prescribe me anything else.

COVID cases are once again on the rise, that we have another family casualty because of it. I don’t think what I have is COVID though, but more probably bronchitis considering I have no other symptoms.

It would be a lot better Christmas if I feel better. I hope to have that as my Christmas miracle for this year.