Hello there, stranger.

Months flew by with me realizing that I haven’t blogged since January. If it hadn’t been for the yearly notification of my domain expiration this month, I wouldn’t even know it’s been that long.

Honestly, I don’t miss it. I’m too stressed and anxiety-ridden these days to even find the time in my often-mundane day to blog. I am also quite emotional most of the time, as people who follow me on Twitter can notice. I don’t want to post something here on my blog that was solely fueled by strong emotions only to regret it afterwards.

Then again, I also can’t find it my blogger heart to stop for good and let my domain expire so I did pay $17 for the renewal fee.  

To those who care enough to ask, I’m good. A nervous nellie most of the time but clinging to sanity. I don’t know if it was because I’m pushing fifty in a few more years, and there’s that feeling of dread—but I worry about a lot of things to the point of overthinking. I know stressing over things can’t be good, but it’s something that I just can’t help. 

Mommy is still having health issues every so often. One day she’s okay, the next she isn’t feeling well. Quite frankly, most of her bodily discomfort were a direct result of her stubbornness. Like how, a few days ago, I saw her cleaning the inside of the fridge using bleach (don’t even ask me why). Of course, I called her out and said that inhaling bleach is (historically) bad for her.

She scowled, “Wag mo ‘nga akong pakelaman ha!” (Stop meddling and let me be!)

A few days later she got a very bad cough that the doctor had to give her a regimen for pneumonia—mostly strong antibiotics. She felt better in less than a week, thank God, but then we caught her again spraying insecticide inside the house. When my kuya *gently* reminded her that she just went through rounds of antibiotics and that she has just recovered, they got into an argument with her ultimately saying: “Mamatay na kung mamatay.” (If I die, I die.)

Toxic, emotional retorts and sudden outbursts such as that can throw me and my brothers off. I mean, how do you respond to that? 

So even if our chest feels like exploding, we try to manage by avoidance because obviously she resents being told what to do even if it’s being done for her own good. When that happens, we go upstairs and simmer down. Arguing with her is useless and frustrating.

When I’m losing patience, I pray.

When I’m getting frustrated, I pray.

When I get scared, I pray.

When things are getting a bit harder to carry, I pray.

In short, praying keeps me going these days.

 ***

Meanwhile, work is something that I’ll always be thankful for. It isn’t giving me the same amount of tension compared to what’s happening in the household. Thanks to the autonomy/healthy company culture and the freedom that is being given to us we don’t feel pressured. I report for work at 7 AM, clock out at 4 PM. Weekends are golden.

My work also pays me enough for my bills and provided me the joy of being able to afford the little things for me and my family. 

Our company has already given up some of our office floors at the RCBC Plaza, which only means that working from home will be for good. The very few remaining employees who chose to work onsite and was given consideration for the past several months are now being asked to do what’s necessary to start working remotely.

My brother and I have already surrendered to the reality that we will never be office people again, so we are currently taking baby steps to make working from home as comfortable and as stress-free for us as possible. 

At the moment my workstation is situated in a common area at home just right beside our dining area. I can’t tell you how working in a common area of the house can be particularly distressing. I asked my kuya if we could do something in our shared room upstairs so I could instead set my workstation there (which was actually where I was when I was still using my own laptop and not the company-issued desktop). He agreed to give up some of our old cabinets so my table could fit right in.

The only thing that is stopping us from moving there is the unforgiving weather. We have an old non-inverter window-type AC upstairs, and we don’t usually use it because we feel it consumes so much electricity. Our room upstairs turns to a giant microwave in the afternoon, that it’s almost impossible to stay there with only electric fans running. We are waiting for the rainy season to finally come in before I move there, and I think being away from everyone while working can make my every day less nerve-wracking.

Kuya plans to make our shared room like some fortress of solitude, for if there’s anyone who understands the mental strain I’m going through, it’s him. We have given ourselves a timetable: before next summer, a new inverter aircon and accordion door by the stairs should already be installed, sliding ones to replace the jalousie window to let natural light come in, walls painted, etc. It’s kind of our pet project. Maybe working at my favorite spot in our very small house can do wonders for my overall wellbeing.   

Giving back the same energy

Photo by Jessie McCall on Unsplash

This female celebrity, who I never liked eversince, is in the news again for smearing the icing of her birthday cake to a server.

I’m really not into this cancel culture but can we please teach her a lesson this time?

I don’t tolerate disrespect especially when it comes to service people as they are not paid enough to be treated rudely. How would anyone feel if the server is your brother, father, friend or boyfriend and you saw him being laughed at after this celebrity smeared chocolate icing on his face?

And what pains me every time something like this happens, is how the server can’t do anything out of fear of getting fired. In this case he just stood there, surprised, kept a straight face, unable to do anything.

I’ve never worked as a server, but I empathize with them because I have worked in customer service and have my fair share of irate customers and guests and their unreasonable demands and verbal abuse.  It’s hard enough for service people to earn a decent living, but for other people to make it harder for them by treating them rudely when they are just simply doing their jobs is just too much.

I have a degree in Business Administration Major in Marketing, but I never believed in the saying “Customer is King”. I remember rolling my eyes in class when my teacher was discussing this during one of our sessions. Take note that this was the early-to-mid `90s, but even then, I felt that the saying is so dated. “The customer is always right”-slogan is so turn-of-the-century. There’s nothing wrong in giving customer a quality customer service, but not at the expense of the customer service people. Being too customer-centric means that you don’t support your own people. When I was still a phone agent dealing with hotel guests, I hate it when my manager would throw me under the bus and side with an unreasonable guest and give them what they want despite all my best efforts.

I usually mind my own business and avoid social interactions, but I am also that type of person that would stand up for a service person at any given time. There’s something about it that triggers me to do something and not just stand there and watch the abuse and feel sorry for the service person. I will not hesitate to call out a customer acting like an entitled toddler and disrespecting a service employee. In some instances, I end up arguing with them.  

If you are on the other side of this as a customer, always make sure that what you’re asking for is reasonable to begin with. Be kind with your words. Remember that you merely paid for the service, but not for the other person’s dignity. If you are a bit inconvenienced, it’s okay to let them know but make it a point that you’d still be courteous or at the least, civil. No matter how high you think of yourself,  you are not, in any way, above them. 

Never, ever make fun of them for a good laugh. This is so common these days because a lot are making careers out of the internet by playing pranks. I’ve seen this Tiktok video of a drive-thru girl who threw a drink to the customer after the driver loudly beeps the car’s horn at her. I say that is deserved.

I really believe we should normalize service people giving back the same energy, whether it’s negative or positive, that a customer is giving them. I also think that we should not just stand and watch when we see things like this. Our inaction is enabling these people to keep doing it.

What is luxury?

Photo by Ivan Kazlouskij on Unsplash

Just recently, I read about the Singapore-based Filipina girl who was bashed by netizens on Tiktok after calling Charles & Keith a “luxury bag”.

On her follow-up video, she calmly responded to the “Who’s gonna tell her?”-comment that she considers Charles & Keith “luxury” because growing up she did not have a lot.

I can’t with these awful netizens who are probably just so bored in their lives to shame this girl. FCOL, she was just excited to show on video acquiring a bag that for her, is already a luxury. Why can’t they let her be?

I am not a fan of designer handbags. Never was. Even now that I have been working more than half of my life, I just don’t see the need or the fascination over it, to be honest. 

But before you attack me, I absolutely have no hate for people who own luxury bags. It’s definitely not their fault that they can afford it. But there are some who think that owning such designer pieces define them and make them feel like they’re better people than others. What a shame, really.

I’m already in my late forties, but the only branded bags I ever owned are the likes of Hedgren, Charles & Keith, Calvin Klein, Tommy Hilfiger, Lacoste and a classic Coach I got second-hand. Even now, I can’t even get a Kate Spade bag because I feel I can buy a lot of other things with its price. Notice I don’t have an LV, Hermes, Gucci, YSL, Prada or Chanel — what most people would classify as “luxury”.

I am not an expert on the topic, so I will not even pretend that I am, but what would be the price range to consider a bag as a “luxury brand”? Or can one argue that the word “luxury” is subjective? 

When I think of luxury brand bags and purses, generally, I think of the ones that retails for a certain price range (perhaps between $900 – higher). 

Personally, I define “luxury” based on my own buying/purchasing power. If I worked hard enough to own one (like I had to get it by layaway or installment plan), then I consider it a luxury item. According to Merriam-Webster, luxury is “a condition of abundance or great ease and comfort”. So the harder it is for me to acquire something, the more I consider it a luxury.

While I understand that the meaning of it is different from people-to-people, I still think it’s unnecessary to call out this teen over some “technicality” or semantics. But if some are still so worked up about it, notice how the caption on her Tiktok video says: “My first luxury bag”, not even “My first luxury brand bag”. Obviously, she’s speaking in her own POV on what luxury is.

Anyway, something good came out of it. The girl was invited by the Charles & Keith founders for lunch and a tour in its headquarters. Now, that’s a win.

Also, this is what I’ve been saying over and over again. We shouldn’t normalize shaming a person in his or her own post unless the person is asking for it (meaning the post’s purpose is to stir controversy or provoke criticisms, etc). If you don’t like what you see, skip.