Wednesday, September 4, 2019

What is so wrong with contentment?

Why does using the word content to describe an aspect of one’s life so frowned upon these days? Does contentment really limit one’s true purpose?


Compared to most people my age who’ve probably earned enough money to do what they want to do and at the same time assure them of a comfortable life in their retirement years, I’m still getting there.

I have a steady eight-hour job five days a week—a blessing I’m always thankful for. While sometimes it can be quite monotonous and regimented, I want to continue working for as long as I could.

A lot of people I know don’t share the same view. I have a friend who wants to retire by the time she reaches 40 and would hate to see herself still working in her fifties.

I, on the other hand, believe that early retirement could be bad for one’s health. I read somewhere that it will increase the likelihood of developing physical disorders by approximately 60%. My 60-day Magna Carta leave last year proved this for me. I got listless and bored, having a general feeling of discomfort and uneasiness in my body that it came to a point when I can no longer wait to come back to work.

I also have friends who say that one will not get rich for having a job as it’s not financially-fulfilling. They instead humblebrag about their investments such as life insurance, networking, stocks, hybrid marketing, cryptocurrency, etc. and hinting that they are earning a lot of money from it.

At times, they will try to sign you up with a promise of big returns but when you politely turn them down, they will shrewdly insult you by saying you’ve got no goals in life and that you’re already contented with just being a salaried employee.

Is there no dignity being just an employee now?

Like how I always—ALWAYS—get asked why I don’t apply for a managerial position. When I tell them that I’m already happy and contented in my current role, they’d give me a shrug and a disappointed look like I got no ambitions at all.

“You have to get out of your comfort zone!”

“Ano, ganyan ka na lang? You can do more!” 

“Hindi ka ba nabo-bother na `yung former trainee mo eh Team Manager na ngayon?” 

“Fixed mindset ka kasi e.” 

Why is contentment viewed so negatively? Why can’t they understand that we have different motivations and priorities in life? I mean, I’d get it if they hear me whine and complain all the time, but they can clearly see that I enjoy my steady work-life balance, that I have a fixed morning schedule with weekends off and I don’t have to deal with difficult bosses and direct reports with varying attitudes and temperament.

If the meaning of success for them is getting promoted or having so much money, success for me is just having that sense of normalcy when it comes to everyday activities and family/personal life. If, say, accepting a higher position would only leave me sleepless, pressured and stressed out of my wits every waking hour, then I don’t want it.

And it’s not just about work—why does expressing contentment on everything else like relationships, material possessions, way of life, etc. is mistaken for lack of passion?

In the age of YOLO, with some interpreting it that because “you only live once” then you must set as many goals you can and try to achieve it all, anything other than that would be settling for mediocrity.

Social media made us compare our lives with other people. We get obsessed with appearances, our general public image, and other people’s validation. No wonder a lot of people, especially the youth, get depressed and develop low self-esteem because of this.

I just hope these people understand that I am at peace with my choices. That in general, my life is good. I may not have achieved exceptional things, I may not have millions in my bank account, I may still be single—but I’m happy. I have accepted the fact that there are some things I could have and things that I couldn’t. I no longer fret or envy what other people have that I don’t.

Because I know one thing: If I happen to lack some things, I’m pretty sure that there is an aspect in my life that can make me consider myself rich.

Contentment and merely settling is not the same thing. Being content is being satisfied, happy and fulfilled within. Contentment is not being stagnant; it’s not settling for an unremarkable existence. It’s not being complacent and lazy but it’s actually gaining more perspective other than just being covetous. Settling on something is just taking what was there because you’ve got no choice.

Contentment is more of accepting what I am and what I have and learning to work around it.

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