The introvert is out and about

I’m sorry if I haven’t been updating my blog as much as I wanted to. I got busy, as I’m back to a five-day workweek since last Monday (Oct. 5). Thankfully, our company managed through despite the challenging industry environment and was able to get everyone back to normal pay, just as promised.  

This is good news as my salary was reduced to half since August and it was quite a struggle because it’s not like I took a break from my bills and obligations. Then again, all’s well now and I’m just grateful.

When it was announced a few weeks ago that we’re going back to full-time and the WFH set-up is highly-likely extended until next year, I thought I should take my remaining day-offs and go out of the house. I know it has been drilled into our heads over and over again how we all should stay home and only go out when necessary, but this prolonged lockdown has got me down. Hell—even for an introvert, being confined to our small house for long periods is making me crazy and sick.

I have to say this again: Cabin Fever is real. I have bouts with restlessness and irritability and my body has manifested every possible pain it can come up with. If COVID won’t kill me, atrophy will. I mean, I realized I had to go somewhere other than the neighborhood grocery, drugstore, and ATM machine. After all, this virus has already disrupted my life in so many ways and I refuse to cower in fear and let it hold up things I want to do. I may not be jumping back with two feet, but I have thought of it very carefully. 

So I did. I went out to go to the mall several times the past few days and it felt great. Perhaps it’s true when they said that spending time outdoors can boost one’s physical and mental health. I treated myself (something I haven’t done in a long time since this pandemic) and even made an effort to dress up a little because it’s been a while since I even bothered.

A lot seem to have the same sentiment as I noticed there are more people in the mall trying to get on with their daily rhythm and (kind of) normal. Although it’s not as many BC (Before COVID), it’s still more people outside compared to the first few weeks when the lockdown was lifted.

But make no mistake, malls are pretty strict in enforcing their guidelines. Before you can even enter the mall or a shop, you have to fill out a health declaration form. I don’t like filling out forms so I use my QR reader and fill the form online. Everyone is still required to wear a face mask and full-face shield (you’d be refused entry if you’re only wearing half-visor glasses). Temperature checks are done upon entry. Many shops only allow a certain number of people inside and markers are everywhere to remind us of social distancing. The mall temperature is set to just 26°C (78°F), with the Wi-Fi temporarily unavailable and this was done so people won’t hang-out or overstay. Sanitation squads are deployed in common areas like escalators and restrooms.

There are more people indeed but a long way from how it was because seniors and those below 21 years of age are still not allowed. Many establishments are closed and it’s sad to see some shops announcing that they’re closing for good. For one, I don’t think play places and arcades will go back anytime soon—a sad update for my nephews who frequent Timezone every weekend BC.

When dining, many are still afraid (because open restaurants are linked to viral spread) and prefer take-out, but dining-in worked in my favor because they no longer assign me the “table for one” which is usually right in the center. I can now choose a corner sofa seat all to myself without the crew giving me the judging eye. I sit at a spot where there are lesser people and particularly avoid those who are talking and laughing. 

Coffee shops that are packed most of the time are more quiet and relaxing. I don’t even have to wait for my strawberry frappe when I went to Starbucks recently. It was nice.

It’s usually busy at this time of the year, but less than 80 days till Christmas, the atmosphere is different. Even when the malls are already decked with colorful lights and trees, something’s lacking. Clothes and shoe shops are mostly empty, perhaps because people already know what is essential in times of crisis. 

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I’m not in any way saying that it’s already safe to go out. The risks are still there. I have well-meaning friends who called me out after seeing my IG posts and I understand their concern. Even with the debate over it, many believed that airborne transmission is possible. It can get scary when you think about it, but my decision to go out is also for my own emotional and mental health. 

Since I can’t help myself from having an “itchy feet”, I make sure that I follow safety practices when outdoors at the very least. For a loner, I believe that what should be limited is my interaction with others. If I may be honest, I still don’t like to be around people (I even took a rain check when my relatives had a boodle fight recently). With the exception of my family, I avoid most people like the plague. 

I want more to go out because a part of me wanted to enjoy the quietness and embrace the bigger space to myself.