Money woe is me!

Photo by Konstantin Evdokimov on Unsplash

Not to sound ungrateful but it’s our payday today and I’m not as happy as usual. 

Unless you’re from a well-off family where mom and dad can bail you out when things get a little sticky, or have extra income from a profitable side hustle, I’m sure you’ve been in some level of budget crunch during this pandemic. 

Well, I’m in it now and it does bog me down. 

Frankly, it’s not that I’m broke or out of cash, it’s just that I’m getting less from work due to our reduced hours. I’m only working four days a week that I find it so difficult to budget my money for my bills and expenses because I wasn’t getting what I used to get. When everything’s paid off and is whittled down, I have very little left for myself it makes me want to weep sometimes. 

Now before you judge me and preach on how I’m probably not money-smart or am spending too much, let me tell you that until recently, my finances are okay. I used to pay my bills on time (never been penalized) and have something set aside for savings and some spending. I was never in deep debt or got myself in any trouble from collectors (an advantage for not keeping a credit card). Overall, I’m very good at managing my money.

I guess the timing is just off because my monthly obligations didn’t stop just because my work hours were reduced. And you know how bills come in like clockwork. Add to that, I have incurred quite a chunk of additional expenses because of my maintenance meds. 

This is a common problem if you are a single adult like me. Almost always, you are left to deal with the responsibilities all alone. I mean, I’m sure it will be a lot different if I have a partner or a spouse to help me when things are a little harder than usual. But I don’t. 

Maybe it won’t be as bad if I have no problem asking for help, but I was never one to borrow from friends. If I absolutely have to, I only go to my immediate family but even that is already my last resort. I don’t even ask my relatives no matter how close I am to some of them. Call it pride if you want, but the thought of owing someone money will only eat me up. Additional anxiety, so to speak.

But yeah, times have been tough for me recently but I know I’d get by as it’s not my first rodeo. I just had to do more tightening of the belt or perhaps look for a side hustle until it all goes back to normal. At the moment I have eliminated unnecessary expenses and spending. All the things that I plan to buy had to be put aside for the more important ones. Hard choices had to be made.

While I know things will get better, this doesn’t save me from the anxiety that I’m feeling lately. They said that one should have enough savings to cover at least three months of your normal expenses but even that is quite a stretch for me these days. I’m so stressed that sometimes I lose sleep just by thinking of possible financial crisis scenarios that can happen especially now that we’re in a pandemic. 

It is a cause for concern since there is definitely a link between distress and health. I already have many worries as it is, so another one—especially if it’s money woes—is just one too many.