The worst of times bring out the best of people

Photo by Yoann Boyer on Unsplash

It’s been a while since I posted anything on this blog. It’s not like nothing happened during my absence. The truth is, so many things happened and most of it became too depressing to talk about. I’ll try my best to touch some of it now, just so to explain why my post today is titled as such.

Two days after his birthday my younger brother, the father of my nephews, was rushed to the hospital due to difficulty in breathing. It started the day before when he felt weak and was having a bad cough. I even expressed concerns that it might be COVID, but he adamantly dismissed it. He said he didn’t have any other symptoms other than the cough and said it must be another asthma attack. The following morning it had gotten so bad we had to hook him to an oxygen tank and later on had to be brought to the hospital when that didn’t help.

I’ve already mentioned in the past my frustrations with the lifestyle my brother has chosen for himself. He smokes heavily, sleeps late, eats unhealthy food — I mean, think of every possible abuse one can do to his or her own body, with the exception of drugs and booze, my brother did it. Not to mention the other personality flaws and unpleasant things about him, which I will no longer talk about.

Seeing my brother that morning of the 24^th having difficulty breathing—the most basic thing humans do—is traumatic. He was slumped on the floor and would wince in pain every time somebody attempts to move him. He can’t stand nor sit that we had to ask the help of the barangay to bring in a stretcher for him. That didn’t work because, again, my brother was too weak to move. He said small movements made it harder for him to breathe. He also can’t speak in full sentences and was almost slurring. People who were there were asking him if he could crawl because they wouldn’t all fit carrying him out through our small main door to the stairs. After many agonizing minutes and perhaps in his last-ditch effort, he was able to lift himself up and sit on a monobloc chair, where about seven men carried him and the large oxygen tank out of the house. All this was witnessed by our senior mother and his two young kids.  

It’s good that through some connections we were able to secure a room even with the full capacity of most hospitals. My kuya was there en route to the hospital, and he thought our brother would be declared DOA. When he got to the ER he was unconscious, and that they had to intubate him as his oxygen level is so low. As a standard protocol, he had to be COVID-tested too.

Knowing fully that the family and some relatives can only help so much with the hospital expenses, I unabashedly sought prayers and financial help through a post on Facebook. We rushed mom to the hospital due to pneumonia just last July and that used up any small savings we have. I already anticipated an exorbitant bill, considering he was rushed to the ICU of a private hospital (which, by the way, is notoriously expensive). 

He was conscious the next day, with vitals stable but still critical. Thankfully, my brother was negative of COVID (it’s a fear all of us have, as we all have close contact with him) and what happened is what they call status asthmaticus, which is severe asthma exacerbation. They had to suction phlegm out of his lungs and was also found to have high cholesterol levels and borderline diabetes. At least it did not show any issues with his heart and that was a relief for us since we lost a cousin due to heart failure last year. 

Aside from relatives who chipped in as much as they could, a lot of people helped, and I am not just talking financially but many sent out messages of support and prayers which I appreciate with the same weight. However, it was pretty clear that most of the people who helped were my friends, not his. And what’s more surprising is how most of the financial help came from people I least expected. 

I had this classmate from grade school (he was actually my bully when we were kids) who sent money and his prayers. I had another classmate also from grade school, who I’m not even friends with on FB, but perhaps word reached her—sent me some amount too. Then there’s this family, our longtime neighbor here in Tramo, giving a large amount through my GCash—so large that I thought it was a mistake, but it wasn’t. There’s this longtime reader of this blog from Davao, a former boss, former officemates, random people who messaged me and told me that they have sent in some money either on my GCash or bank account. I have friends who sent me even the last money they have on their GCash account. Most from people I wasn’t really expecting at all.   

It was beyond moving. I will never forget the people who actually helped in every little way they could. Like, how some weren’t able to help in terms of money but assisted us in submitting papers and doing the legwork. My cousins Nancy and Manu were there for us helping out in negotiating with the hospital administration. There are some who offered masses and prayer intentions. I am just humbled by other people’s generosity in helping out the best way they can. 

Then again, even with all the monetary help we received, including the deductions from PhilHealth and DSWD, it wasn’t enough. We were able to secure a promissory note for about half of the total balance, but the hospital demands we pay the rest. Now, this is not as easy as it sounds as we already exhausted every possible means. My kuya and I were left with no one else to turn to. We were so hopeless and stressed at the thought that we wouldn’t be able to raise the payment anymore. We would find ourselves crying in our room, hiding from our mother.

Because all the while, my mother was kept in the dark—we didn’t tell her the total hospital bill because we don’t want her to worry. When she’d ask, we’d give her a modest amount, and even that she’d break into tears. What more if she knew? 

I also felt so bad for my nephews. They have been waiting for their papa to come home and there had been a couple of instances when we thought he’d be discharged, only to find out later on that the hospital won’t accept our appeal so their papa had to stay another day.

Then came October 2, the Feast of the Guardian Angels. By this time my younger brother is already on his 8^th day in the hospital. He’s already cleared and was given the discharge slip, but because we still haven’t raised the amount that the hospital was demanding we pay, he had to wait. Waiting isn’t good, because every day is another day added to the bill. Plus the possibility of catching COVID is higher when you’re in the hospital.

We were all getting so stressed thinking who else to seek help from because quite frankly, we cannot expect other people to give or lend us money at this time. We truly understand that most people are really holding tight to their money simply because they don’t know when they’d actually need it.

But maybe some guardian angels manifest through other people because, at the last minute, this person (who by the way, has already sent help on the first few days of my brother’s confinement) sent me additional money we need to get my brother out of the hospital. Like — Oh my God, we have enough money now to bring Chito home!    

It was embarrassing, I admit, as I was never comfortable getting money from people. But when he offered, all my unease and discomfiture was set aside because I had to get my brother out so the bills won’t pile up anymore. I don’t know how else to thank this person who had given so much considering that I know for a fact how hard it was for him to earn his money and it’s not even a loan. For all I know, I might have buried him in debt too. But he’s just like, here, take this money and get him out. 

That very evening, we paid the amount the hospital was demanding and my brother’s wife signed a promissory note for half of it. While it left me and my older brother in a financial ruin that we’d probably carry for months, I was just so happy that we were able to bring our younger brother home to my mom and to his family. That night, I was able to have the best sleep I had in days. 

It amazes me how the worst of times bring out the best of people. I will not be able to thank them enough for all the help that they have given my family but I will always have them in my prayers. It’s the only way I can actually pay them back.