Snap out the funk

Just a few mornings ago, I received a message from my cousin from Sweden. She asked if I was okay because she noticed that my blog posts the past few days seem…sad.

The truth is, while I’m not particularly depressed, I also couldn’t say that everything’s okay. After all, it’s hard to be in high spirits with what’s happening right now with the pandemic and all. Now more than ever, I’m beginning to understand how staying indoors can take its toll on anyone’s mental health. I am a creature of habit, and there are things I do that give me fulfillment. Self-isolation had put most of those everyday distractions on hold indefinitely.

The current issues that I read and hear about, plus the clownery that is our government, stress me out every single day. Probably stemming from the same stress and frustration is the general malaise I’ve been having the past few days. It can be anything from stomachache, headache, dizziness, nausea, lower back pain, feeling fat and fugly and…you guessed it right...being sad for no clear reason at all.

My Sad Playlist

My friend Judie mentioned in one of her tweets some years ago how there are songs that would make you feel that your heart's being whipped inside a blender. Surely for me, there are songs that hurt more than others. It might be because the lines speak of a raw, familiar feeling I once had, or probably because the song itself reminds me of someone from my past already gone.

There are songs that could stop me in my tracks when I hear them. It triggers visceral responses like goosebumps, chills, or that static tingling sensation that would start from the back of my neck and could crawl to the top of my head.

There are songs like Both Sides, Now by Joni Mitchell, Fast Car by Tracy Chapman, Tears In Heaven by Eric Clapton, and Dance With My Father by Luther Vandross that are not necessarily about breakups but are just particularly sad and depressing. But since we are talking of a feeling as if your heart is being chopped and puréed, I would like to focus on the ones that are related to love (more like the lack of it).

Many people will tell you to avoid listening to these songs if you’re going through heartbreak but for me though, acknowledging the feeling is the first step to healing. A good cry can even be quite cathartic.

And since this is my personal list, you may notice that there are hardly any new, much recent songs. I grew up in a generation that enjoyed great, timeless love songs that other people may find sappy or corny. While musical taste is relative, I would like to ask you to indulge me by listening to each of the songs I included here and if you could do so while following its lyrics, then I bet you that some of the emotions expressed are truly sad. (Furthermore, keep coming back to this post as I have plans of adding more.)

I have already made a separate post earlier on one of my saddest love songs of all time by the great Lionel Richie, let me give you more.

Unburden. Unload.

I'm not particularly a vengeful person but there was a time, perhaps in my moment of hopelessness and weakness, that I desired to exact the kind of revenge as that of Edmond Dantès in the Alexandre Dumas’ novel “The Count of Monte Cristo”.

Something as calculated, elaborate, cold and vile.