All I see the past week on my social media newsfeed was about this local actress’ cheating allegation against her actor boyfriend. It started with her cryptic posts on Instagram and Twitter, hinting infidelity in her relationship.
The issue is not new for the guy, who has a playboy reputation with the ladies. He had dated a string of pretty actresses, some allegedly at the same time, that it even resulted in the much-talked-about falling out of two friends.
Ang guwapo lang ng gago.
Of course, because of his image as an “overlapper”, a lot of netizens expressed their support for the actress, while the actor and his supposed new girl (a way younger actress from a known showbiz clan) have been getting all the hate.
The actress broke her silence in a press conference recently, and declared quite matter-of-factly, that she did not even know they have broken up.
“Honestly, to my understanding, we did not break up, he just started not talking to me,” she said.
The younglings call that “ghosting” these days, which, according to Dictionary.com “is the practice of ending a personal relationship with someone by suddenly and without explanation withdrawing from all communication.”
That was harsh.
If someone as pretty as she gets cheated on and “ghosted”, I can’t help but think what more would it be for the rest of us “regular” people?
I don't want either, but if I were to choose I’d rather be ghosted than cheated.
Cheating is probably the most insulting and damaging thing a person can do to another. For me, it is the worst of all betrayals because of its overall (oftentimes long-term) effect not just on the relationship, but more importantly, to the person who got cheated on.
I know how it’s like as I’ve been there quite recently and I can tell you this: No matter what stage in life you’re in when it happens, it will still hurt just as bad.
No one can really say, “I’m used to it,” because nobody deserves such awful treatment from anyone. No one, in their right frame of mind, gets into a relationship and expects to be cheated on in the long run.
So when it happens, it’s usually devastating and traumatizing. For a woman, most especially, she suffers emotionally and mentally even if she’s the type who puts on a brave face every time. (*points to myself*)
A few days ago, a good friend confided in me after she found out that her boyfriend for almost half a decade cheated on her. This shocked me to the core because I always thought that she was in a happy, ideal relationship.
When you hear something like this, all the feelings you once felt when it was you in that situation avalanches back. The hate. The anger. The hurt. Everything. I guess another person’s heartbreak will always remind you of your own.
I will never, ever understand the reason why a person would cheat on someone they love. The idea of cheating is beyond me because I have never once cheated in any of my relationships. And nothing angers the hell out of me hearing reasons like, “I’m just human”, “It was an accident” or “It’s a moment of weakness.” — Who were they kidding?
Betrayal is a choice. The cheater chose to do it knowing that it will hurt the other in the process. Someone who is in a relationship will never forget that he or she is committed to another person. They remember — but they chose to disregard it.
Cheating is proof of someone’s capacity to lie, which is why most of us agree that once a cheater is always a cheater. I just read that “the brain gains immunity to lying until the person no longer feels guilty at all”. No wonder some people who cheat show no remorse when caught as it becomes a pattern to them already.
Cheaters will always have their reasons and perhaps even if I try to be objective when psychoanalyzing it, I would always have a low opinion for the one who strayed. I will always think of them as a low-life, selfish narcissist.
Even so, there had been times when I swallowed my pride and gave forgiveness and a second chance. Why—I don’t know, but maybe I’m just a die-hard romantic to a fault.
My older brother had a better explanation though, as he said that most women have that tendency to forgive a cheating boyfriend or spouse because we all have this illusion that our love can change them. Maybe we should blame it on the romantic, unrealistic movies we’ve seen over the years where the bad guy suddenly comes around and realizes that he’s in love with the good girl who accepted him warts and all. (Or Queen Amidala’s “There’s good in him.”-crap for Anakin.)
The thing is, and this might be a punch to the gut to admit, but hoping for a guy to change just by the understanding, forgiveness and second chances you give is a long stretch. I realized that no matter how good you are to the other person—you know, accepting his weakness, his shortcomings, even his turbulent past, loving him at his worst—if he still doesn’t have an ounce of respect for you, he will cheat if he has the chance.
I don’t question those who chose to forgive and move on as I’m pretty sure they have good reasons for it. What others tend to forget though is that forgiveness requires an apology and a promise not to do it again. So how can you forgive without those prerequisites? Also, I think forgiveness will be a lot easier if the guy admitted what he did not because he got caught, but because he felt terrible doing it.
Another thing that’s worth pointing out is the third party—the woman in between. It puzzles me as to how she can go with a man knowing he’s already committed to another girl. What makes her think that the man won’t do the same to her especially if the guy is a known serial cheater? Why can’t they just dump the guy at the same time to teach him a lesson (or kick his balls for good measure)? Why would another woman choose to be in cahoots with the cheater to hurt another? Do we go back to that reason on how most women think that she is the one who can change the guy and beat him to submission? Good luck with that.
Going back to the actress, there have been comments online saying that what happened to her was actually karma. It was said that the actress entered the picture too while the guy is still with another actress. Now whether that’s true or not, then I guess that’s what it means when we say what goes around, comes around.
The issue is not new for the guy, who has a playboy reputation with the ladies. He had dated a string of pretty actresses, some allegedly at the same time, that it even resulted in the much-talked-about falling out of two friends.
Ang guwapo lang ng gago.
Of course, because of his image as an “overlapper”, a lot of netizens expressed their support for the actress, while the actor and his supposed new girl (a way younger actress from a known showbiz clan) have been getting all the hate.
The actress broke her silence in a press conference recently, and declared quite matter-of-factly, that she did not even know they have broken up.
“Honestly, to my understanding, we did not break up, he just started not talking to me,” she said.
The younglings call that “ghosting” these days, which, according to Dictionary.com “is the practice of ending a personal relationship with someone by suddenly and without explanation withdrawing from all communication.”
That was harsh.
If someone as pretty as she gets cheated on and “ghosted”, I can’t help but think what more would it be for the rest of us “regular” people?
***
I don't want either, but if I were to choose I’d rather be ghosted than cheated.
Cheating is probably the most insulting and damaging thing a person can do to another. For me, it is the worst of all betrayals because of its overall (oftentimes long-term) effect not just on the relationship, but more importantly, to the person who got cheated on.
I know how it’s like as I’ve been there quite recently and I can tell you this: No matter what stage in life you’re in when it happens, it will still hurt just as bad.
No one can really say, “I’m used to it,” because nobody deserves such awful treatment from anyone. No one, in their right frame of mind, gets into a relationship and expects to be cheated on in the long run.
So when it happens, it’s usually devastating and traumatizing. For a woman, most especially, she suffers emotionally and mentally even if she’s the type who puts on a brave face every time. (*points to myself*)
A few days ago, a good friend confided in me after she found out that her boyfriend for almost half a decade cheated on her. This shocked me to the core because I always thought that she was in a happy, ideal relationship.
When you hear something like this, all the feelings you once felt when it was you in that situation avalanches back. The hate. The anger. The hurt. Everything. I guess another person’s heartbreak will always remind you of your own.
I will never, ever understand the reason why a person would cheat on someone they love. The idea of cheating is beyond me because I have never once cheated in any of my relationships. And nothing angers the hell out of me hearing reasons like, “I’m just human”, “It was an accident” or “It’s a moment of weakness.” — Who were they kidding?
Betrayal is a choice. The cheater chose to do it knowing that it will hurt the other in the process. Someone who is in a relationship will never forget that he or she is committed to another person. They remember — but they chose to disregard it.
Cheating is proof of someone’s capacity to lie, which is why most of us agree that once a cheater is always a cheater. I just read that “the brain gains immunity to lying until the person no longer feels guilty at all”. No wonder some people who cheat show no remorse when caught as it becomes a pattern to them already.
Cheaters will always have their reasons and perhaps even if I try to be objective when psychoanalyzing it, I would always have a low opinion for the one who strayed. I will always think of them as a low-life, selfish narcissist.
***
Even so, there had been times when I swallowed my pride and gave forgiveness and a second chance. Why—I don’t know, but maybe I’m just a die-hard romantic to a fault.
My older brother had a better explanation though, as he said that most women have that tendency to forgive a cheating boyfriend or spouse because we all have this illusion that our love can change them. Maybe we should blame it on the romantic, unrealistic movies we’ve seen over the years where the bad guy suddenly comes around and realizes that he’s in love with the good girl who accepted him warts and all. (Or Queen Amidala’s “There’s good in him.”-crap for Anakin.)
The thing is, and this might be a punch to the gut to admit, but hoping for a guy to change just by the understanding, forgiveness and second chances you give is a long stretch. I realized that no matter how good you are to the other person—you know, accepting his weakness, his shortcomings, even his turbulent past, loving him at his worst—if he still doesn’t have an ounce of respect for you, he will cheat if he has the chance.
I don’t question those who chose to forgive and move on as I’m pretty sure they have good reasons for it. What others tend to forget though is that forgiveness requires an apology and a promise not to do it again. So how can you forgive without those prerequisites? Also, I think forgiveness will be a lot easier if the guy admitted what he did not because he got caught, but because he felt terrible doing it.
***
Another thing that’s worth pointing out is the third party—the woman in between. It puzzles me as to how she can go with a man knowing he’s already committed to another girl. What makes her think that the man won’t do the same to her especially if the guy is a known serial cheater? Why can’t they just dump the guy at the same time to teach him a lesson (or kick his balls for good measure)? Why would another woman choose to be in cahoots with the cheater to hurt another? Do we go back to that reason on how most women think that she is the one who can change the guy and beat him to submission? Good luck with that.
Going back to the actress, there have been comments online saying that what happened to her was actually karma. It was said that the actress entered the picture too while the guy is still with another actress. Now whether that’s true or not, then I guess that’s what it means when we say what goes around, comes around.
Anyhow, we can expect this issue to go on until it dies just like any other showbiz news after a while. Some of us who have experienced being cheated on, we know that the actress has no other choice but to get what she learned from it and move on. I think it will be a lot easier for her (than most of us) to find a guy who will treat her right. If I were half as pretty as her, I would not even worry.
Let’s just hope that the guy knows that he has hurt someone so bad and that it will haunt him all his days. That every time he finds himself in a difficult situation or very bad luck, he’d think that it was him merely settling a karmic debt.
Trust me, there’s comfort in knowing that even if we weren’t able to get even, it’s highly likely he’ll pay it with his fate (so, beware GA).
Trust me, there’s comfort in knowing that even if we weren’t able to get even, it’s highly likely he’ll pay it with his fate (so, beware GA).
0 comments:
Post a Comment