My birthday weekend

I don’t have anything planned out for the first day of my 44th year last Sunday, considering the many restrictions still in place because of the pandemic. For the past couple of years or so, I’d usually go out with my family, friends or treat my nephews somewhere but obviously, that can’t be the case this year. 

Last Friday, we had someone drive me, kuya, and the kids to Bonifacio High Street in Taguig. It’s one of the very few places I know that allow children so I made it like my early birthday treat for my nephews who have not been outdoors in a very long time. 

They’ve never been anywhere for months, that we didn’t even realize till that day that almost all of Gavin’s shirt and shoes don’t fit him anymore. The jersey shirt he was wearing was my older brother’s, and he had to go out in his “pambahay” slides which also is already too small for him. Good thing there were open shops in BHS (although very few carry kids’ footwear) so I bought him one to wear. 

I feel bad for my boys. Before COVID, we make it a point to go out and have fun every weekend. Now it’s pretty clear how much they missed it because as soon as they stepped out of the car they were out of control. Judging by Liam’s happy screams and non-stop running (his kuya Gavin can’t keep up), they had a wonderful time. 

And you know how it is, when they’re happy, I’m happy.

***

Kuya accompanied me on the eve of my birthday last Saturday to Intramuros, Manila. It has always been on our bucket list to go back to the Walled City to reminisce our college years. But more than the reminiscing and the whatnot, I actually asked him to come with me to be my (reluctant) photographer. Of course, being the good kuya that he is, he gave in under one condition: That I would feed him after. 

Intramuros, compared to how it was in the late `90s when I attended Lyceum, is Instagram-worthy these days. Back then, it’s not very safe to walk around in narrow alleys because there were informal settlers (squatters) where gang wars and snatching were prevalent. 

The Intramuros Administration did a good job in restoring and developing the area. Spanish colonial buildings, cobblestone streets, and guards wearing the rayadillo (guardia civil uniforms) would give you that Spanish-era feels. Walk tours are now being offered because the best way to enjoy Intramuros is on foot (or if you want to feel like an ilustrado, get a kalesa). 

The original plan was for us to go to La Cathedral Café, a cafe located behind the Manila Cathedral that is enjoying some popularity these days because it has this roof deck that provides a nice backdrop of the cathedral. I didn’t realize that we need to book in advance to get inside and walk-ins are discouraged (and upon checking now, they're fully booked for the whole month!).  

That didn’t dampen my spirits in any way as there are other places in Intramuros worth visiting. However, we’re short of luck that day because after a few photo ops in front of the Manila Cathedral and Casa Manila, it rained. Kuya and I took a pedicab to get us to Muralla St. and ended up at Starbucks. 

When the rain stopped, we walked to Lyceum and took pictures in front of our beloved alma mater. We couldn’t stop talking about how so much has changed after 20+ years. Kuya and I were like “strolling down memory lane”, however corny that sounds. We’re pointing at places where something else stood before, complete with a funny anecdote or two. I was a freshman when kuya was in his senior years in college so most of the places he knows, I know. 

We got a bit sentimental because while we realize how tough it was to be struggling financially as students all those years ago, we both agreed we were genuinely happy then.  

As I’ve said, so much has changed. For one, Puerta Del Parian, the gateway once to get to our school, is now closed that you have to pass through the entrance right in front of Colegio De San Juan De Letran instead. Parian brought me a lot of wonderful memories as I remember its open manicured gardens, the rampart, the bridge over a moat, and the sentry gates among many others. My friends and I used to stay there to kill time between vacant periods. It made me think about how I could have taken a lot of pictures there if selfies were already a thing back in college. It’s kinda funny to think that the places that we take for granted at that time when we were still there are now famous for being an “Instagrammable” tourist spot. Boy, we’re old. 

We wanted to walk back towards the Baluarte de San Francisco de Dilao where, again, a lot of happy flashbacks of me sitting on the wall overlooking Mapua with my guy friends. Or perhaps to Baluarte De San Diego, a historical bastion where we had our graduation ball. But the ground is damp and some even muddy after an hour of heavy rains, that we decided to take a rain check and just go back some other time. 

***

I woke up a little over 3 AM last Sunday, saw quite a number of birthday greetings on my phone which made me smile. As I was getting dressed my cousin Nancy and Liam came to my room and sang me a birthday song, complete with a slice of cake and a teeny blue candle.

I prepared early to attend the 8 AM Sunday mass at Santuario De San Antonio. I’ve never attended a mass there, and it’s a spur-of-the-moment decision after passing by McKinley Rd. coming from BGC last Friday. 

It’s good that I checked their website, as I realized I need to register first to get an e-Ticket. Ever the early-bird, I got there a little over 7 AM and was assigned to seat no. 1. Apart from requiring parishioners to wear face shields and masks, they were pretty strict with the physical distancing as the person next to me is already seated at the end of the pew. 

Touching the statues and church tabernacle is not allowed, so is the dipping of fingers in the holy water font. I haven’t gone to church to hear mass since the pandemic so all the safety protocols are new to me.

The mass was also live-streamed for the benefit of the parishioners who can’t be present so there were cameras right by the altar. 

But the mass was very solemn, just how a eucharistic celebration should be. I’ve said this before, but going to church to thank the Lord for another year is always the best way to start anyone’s birthday. 

One quick cab ride and I found myself having breakfast at Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf in Greenbelt. I stayed there for almost an hour just replying to messages and birthday comments. Not to sound ungrateful, but I wondered how many people actually knew my birthday if Facebook hasn't reminded them. Nevertheless, that didn’t matter. I’m just glad that many of my friends and even some acquaintances took the time to leave a greeting however short. (A former schoolmate posted “HBD” on my FB wall, something that peeved me when done to others, but was just fine because I get to reply an even shorter, “TY”.)

By noon I was already home and stayed in my room for the rest of the day. I was nursing a mild headache brought about by that overall feeling of glumness. Am I having the midlife birthday blues? — I don’t know. I’ve always been happy on my birthdays whether I celebrate them or not. But maybe having one during a pandemic could really trigger depression and anxiety. I mean, I could have thrown myself an intimate party right at home, but I chose not to. I’m just not up for it.

There’s no other way to say it: I had a boring birthday. Actually, I’ve had more fun on a regular day. But if there’s one thing that even this pandemic can’t change is my gratitude to the Lord for all the blessings that He bestowed on me and my family. I don’t even have a fervent personal birthday wish, because my silent prayer these days is all about giving thanks.

I could bitch about how this year has been bad for so many reasons but in my heart of hearts, I’m really just happy to blow another candle. Life becomes more meaningful especially when this year has shown me how fragile and fleeting it could be.  

Hopefully, my 44th year will be a whole lot better than my 43rd.