These Uncertain Times

Photo by Dev Asangbam on Unsplash

Every day there’s not-so-good news for me. If you don’t believe me, read on.

There’s a steep rise in the cases of COVID-19 possibly due to the mutations of the virus and the easing of some restrictions. In our city alone, we have cases of the UK and the South African virus which is said to spread more quickly. Doctors are no longer seeing individual cases but family clustering in hospitals which means the contagion now affects the entire household. A very close guy friend was tested positive just recently (thankfully he’s only experiencing mild symptoms). 

Even with the vaccines, I don’t see this COVID problem getting resolved soon. We have yet to observe if these vaccines would actually work and many people are hesitant to get inoculated because of the supposed side effects. Many frontliners were also declining vaccines from China and would rather wait for other options. While declining is their absolute right, this would also cause so many delays. 

So yes—I or someone I know can still get it. No one is in the clear yet.

*** 

Got back for a follow-up with my endocrinologist after a week

Meanwhile, I went back to my endocrinologist last Friday with my test results. While everything’s normal, I was told that I have high cholesterol and LDL levels. The doctor said I should watch out because having hypothyroidism increases my risk of having cardiovascular diseases. The fatty deposits can clog my blood vessels which can break suddenly and can cause heart attack, stroke, or aneurysm. 

The very second I heard that I was reminded of all the fried, fatty foods I’ve wolfed down all this time and it did make me wonder if the sudden tightening of my chest or the pain at the back of my neck were an early manifestation already. 

What the doctor said was enough to scare me. And as soon as I told everyone at home, they were one in blaming my love for chicharon bulaklak, fried chicken and bagnet. I got an earful from everyone and didn’t dare argue as they were right. When I think about it now, I’ve been eating unhealthily for the past couple (or more) years and even worse now during the pandemic with all the fast-food delivery. 

It’s good that I had myself checked. I have no way of knowing my high cholesterol levels as it has no symptoms and only a blood test can confirm it. I don’t want to be one of those people who’d suddenly collapse and die and everyone’s going, “May sakit ba siya?” (Was she sick?) or “Nakakabigla!” (It’s so sudden!) during my wake. 

It was also found from my thyroid test that I have a high normal TSH level but still okay so my doctor just adjusted my dosage of Euthyrox from 50 mcg. to 100 mcg. for Saturday and Sunday only. I hope I’d feel a lot better in the coming days now that there’s a slight change on the dose.

Since Friday I’ve started watching what I eat. Even if it pains me to think that I will have to avoid most of the food I love, I had to do it because I’ll be having another blood test by the end of April to see if the levels improve. If not, my endocrinologist would have to prescribe me a separate medication just to deal with the high cholesterol alone.

Started taking this pineapple juice with Reducol instead of soda and other juice drinks.

*** 

During a team meeting last Thursday, we were told that our working hours will be reduced again by April. It’s been a tough start for the company with the low occupancy because of the pandemic so they sought options on how to reduce costs and save. They felt that since we’re experiencing low volume on everything as of the moment, reducing the hours would help. 

This reduction means a significant cut on our pay, something that nobody needs with all the bills and obligations. I had to tighten the belt now and spend less for the hard, long road ahead. No more unnecessary spending and purchasing of non-essentials in the meantime (so the plan to buy a new TV had to take a backseat).

It was also pretty straightforward when the manager told us the possibility of layoff if everything goes t*ts up. When he said that, all the air was knocked out of my chest. I’ve been in this job for almost 12 years and this is my longest stint on anything. I’m enjoying modest pay and good benefits (like medical and retirement) and if all that is taken away, I’d be like a ship without a compass. It’s much harder to go back to square one when you’re a midlifer so just thinking of it is distressing. 

Truly we are in uncertain times and none of us could predict what can happen in the next few months. We have all heard what we can do to at least cope but something comes up every day that makes us feel powerless. Even if we’ve been repeatedly advised not to stress or feel anxious over things we cannot control, it’s easier said than done. The thought of suddenly becoming sick, losing a job, or keeping your family safe and healthy can trigger high-levels of anxiety on anyone— even for people who seemed mentally okay and well-rounded.