Guilty Feels

Photo by Pickawood on Unsplash

I believe that materialism will never replace the joy you get from something like having a happy time with your family, watching movies with friends, talking to your boyfriend, going out for dinner with girlfriends, etc. But because we’re waiting out a pandemic and it has been affecting our mental health and overall well-being; I’m constantly looking out for ways to fight the funk. 

Lately, I enjoy getting things for myself and have been spending most of my idle hours just browsing online shopping websites. I haven’t bought any big-ticket items yet but I have a lot on my cart waiting to be ordered. Anything from shelves, glass jars, LED lamps, mattress vacuum, electric face-lift and firming device, nipple tape, multi-port wall chargers, cellphone holder, nose rings, etc. 

Crack

Photo by Camila Quintero Franco on Unsplash

My anxiety is peeking through the crevices once again. I only had two hours of sleep last night⁠⁠—a tell-tale sign that I’m not okay. 

Prior to this pandemic, I’ve never had a serious bout with anxiety that went on for months. Back then, after wallowing for a few days or weeks at most, I’d usually just pick myself up and move on like nothing happened. 

Right now, times have changed, and “not feeling okay” is something that everyone is feeling—even for people you’ve known all your life to be well-rounded, cheery, and easy-going. In my case, I feel this more often now and it has been going on. I just don’t have the energy to do anything other than the things I had to do out of obligation.  

We're back.

Photo by Alexas_Fotos on Unsplash

And just like that, it’s already the 8th month of the year, with days mostly wasted away because of the pandemic which has been disrupting everyone’s life since March of last year. 

We are once again back to ECQ for two weeks (August 6-20) because of the highly transmittable Delta variant. The government took a while in deciding as they are well-aware of the economic losses that a two-week lockdown can cause. Besides, another lockdown would mean another round of ‘ayuda’ (cash aid) and frankly, I don’t think the government has enough funds for that.

The threat is very much real, that DOH just said yesterday that we are back to “high risk” classification for COVID-19 with all age groups experiencing the increase in cases. Many hospitals are nearing their full capacity.