Happy < Sad

Photo by Sigmund on Unsplash

Last week, we got an e-mail communication from our Chief Commercial & Technology Officer on what the future would be like for our company’s Manila office. What it basically says is that the company is gearing towards a 100% remote work by mid-2023 for Manila-based colleagues, with the exception of Operations, HR, Training and Technology Services. As how I understand it, they are now in the process of finding a new smaller office options near our current office.

For most of the employees who had already embraced working from home in the past years at the onset of the global pandemic, this is the best news. Some of my teammates, the “remote-work advocates”—as BBC calls them, couldn’t even contain their excitement they had to express it in our group chat.

But for me who long for some normalcy, I admit I’m kinda sad. I think I have said many times on this blog that while I cannot deny the ease and many advantages of working from home, I’m still the old-fashioned type who would prefer to work in the office because only then can that boundary of work and life be clearer. Then again, hybrid set-up is no longer a possible option as they are transitioning RCC (Reservations and Customer Care) to work remotely full-time because the limited spaces available will be given to those with roles that require them to be onsite (such as the exceptions I mentioned above).

I realize this sentiment of mine is not popular, but it doesn’t make it an illegitimate concern. While there are more people who are for it, those of us who don’t shouldn’t be marginalized for expressing our preference as well. My kuya feels the same thing; he’s also not very happy with the news. He was looking at his large casual wardrobe the other day and tells me he won’t be using it that much anymore. But it’s not about dressing up to go to work, but the not going to work that makes him sad. 

The very few times I expressed this to people who care enough to listen, many of them must’ve thought I’m crazy that they’re probably questioning my motivations.

Why would I want to go to work?

Call me what you want but there’s something about being in a good light and good environment that drives me to work better compared to this very small space I have near our dining table where my company-issued equipment was set-up. I spend my 7AM to 4PM Monday-to-Friday shift cooped in this general area where I could hear everyone doing their own thing. It’s hard to switch my brain to “work mode” when I’m surrounded by family members.    

I sometimes miss the daily commute, which I always likened to a “daily workout” that keeps my ticker pumping. There’s something about getting up at the early hours of the morning, take a bath, prepare for work, and leave the house that somehow invigorates me. I don’t know why people are finding it hard to believe when I say that minimal social interactions, daily plesantries and spontaneous small talks, even for a self-confessed introvert like me, can help a lot in one’s mental health.       

I hate video call conferences and meetings. Again, for an introvert this should be a preference, but for me it isn’t. It doesn’t feel the same way as seeing those people in person and catching up with them. It is required to turn on the camera during meetings, and I tell you, virtual will never trump reality. Video conferencing freezes most of the time, and videos distort your appearance. When it lags it would conveniently freeze-frame in your most unflattering look and would remain that way in a few seconds. Often it takes away the privacy of my home. Only one person can talk, and discussions are very hard this way. Don’t get me started about the eyestrain by the end of an hour-and-a-half meeting. I blame this for my worsening presbyopia and recurring headaches.

But I guess now that I’m stuck working at home and somehow loathing it, but I have no choice but to accept it. I don’t hate the setup as passionately as I love my job. Yes, I love my job. And I feel very lucky still to have this. I am still very grateful to be a part of this company.

I respect the preference of most people who like to work remotely because I imagine they can better manage things at home and they have their own valid living situations that may be different from mine. As the company has already decided on this, I’m just going to make some adjustments on my end to make this work and to make this less stressful as it already is. I yearn for some normalcy, but people are also telling me that this is the new normal—a big work culture change—so there’s no use fighting it.