My Rest

Headache, neck pains and dizziness are getting to be a recurring thing for me the past few months. I knew, after I have gone through a series of tests and finding that all results are negative, that all these are just probably due to stress. Wednesday last week I suddenly had a bad dizzy spell that I never had before I had to stop work and lie down. The following day, I was down with a really bad headache that Paracetamol or Mefenamic Acid can’t remedy. That ear-splitting headache went on until Friday, but I went on with all my plans that day, including a self-photoshoot in time for my birthday next week.

Last Saturday was our annual wishlist reveal. This is a yearly thing that my close friends and I do right before Christmas for more than a decade now. I was pretty excited about it because we did the past two years online due to the pandemic, which is not quite the same doing it in person. The night before that I was already worried that I might have those bad headaches and nausea which would be so bad of a timing considering we’ll meet at an all-you-can-eat Japanese buffet—Ogetsu Hime, in Megamall.   

That morning, Tin said she won’t be able to make it because she had to rush her daughter Yen to the ER because of severe stomach pain. Sayang—but we totally understand. That leaves me, Tetay (with her daughter and my godchild, Pretzel) and Jen.

I got to Megamall at around 11AM, with Tetay and Pretzel already there waiting for our reservation. Jen followed shortly, just as we’re about to eat. 

Albeit not a big Japanese food fan, with no dexterity to speak of when it comes to using the chopsticks, I enjoyed that lunch buffet with friends. Over sushi, sashimi, Angus beef, tempura, gyoza, and all other Japanese dishes I can’t even pronounce, we didn’t seem to run out of stories to tell. 

We were at Ogetsu until its lunch cut-off at 2:30PM, then transferred to Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf to continue our catching up. We sure did a lot of it, as we didn’t realize it’s already almost 8PM the next time we checked the time!

That’s the thing about being with your closest, most trusted friends. You don’t realize the passing of time. You get so comfortable sharing things to them with almost no filter (We had to remind ourselves we’re around a minor, and that’s the only time we’ll stop ourselves from talking about mature topics and rated 18 stuff). I know that whatever it is I share to them, I will not be judged. It was refreshing after months of just getting coffee all by myself and being left alone with my thoughts.

I am very thankful for having low-maintenance friends like the Cuatro Amigas. We all know for a fact that life happens, so there isn’t that expectation to talk to them everyday or see them so many times in a month. We usually get to see each other only during our yearly wishlist reveal, but even that is okay. Nothing changes. We simply pick up where we left off.  

The beauty of it is that I know for a fact that I can count on them. When things are getting hard to bear, especially lately when I was having really stressful moments worrying about my mommy’s condition, I run to them on the group chat and just let it all out. They do the same thing; if they are going through something difficult, they go to the group chat and after unloading our pent-up energies and frustrations, everything feels okay.

I went home that night walking from SM Megamall Atrium to Shaw Boulevard Station of the MRT with its notoriously steep 80+ steps staircase they call "Mount Shaw Boulevard" — and was so recharged I didn’t even bother taking the elevator and went to conquer the infamous stairs instead. I got off Ayala Station, walked my way to the Park Square to the jeepney stop. All while carrying gift boxes and my cavernous tita bag with me.

And that’s when it dawned on me: I wasn’t tired. I didn’t even feel the slightest headache or tensed neck. No weariness. I was actually feeling great even if I was up early that day. Even if commuting to-and-fro Megamall wasn’t easy at all under the unforgiving November 32-degree-Celsius weather, somehow I feel fine. I slept soundly that night.

I realized, my friends are my rest. They recharge me. A day spent with them zapped out months and months of stress, anxiety and exhaustion. It is just what I needed. 

I will always be thankful for having them.

Coffee talk with people who mattered that went from 2:30PM to past-8PM. 

Happy < Sad

Photo by Sigmund on Unsplash

Last week, we got an e-mail communication from our Chief Commercial & Technology Officer on what the future would be like for our company’s Manila office. What it basically says is that the company is gearing towards a 100% remote work by mid-2023 for Manila-based colleagues, with the exception of Operations, HR, Training and Technology Services. As how I understand it, they are now in the process of finding a new smaller office options near our current office.

For most of the employees who had already embraced working from home in the past years at the onset of the global pandemic, this is the best news. Some of my teammates, the “remote-work advocates”—as BBC calls them, couldn’t even contain their excitement they had to express it in our group chat.

But for me who long for some normalcy, I admit I’m kinda sad. I think I have said many times on this blog that while I cannot deny the ease and many advantages of working from home, I’m still the old-fashioned type who would prefer to work in the office because only then can that boundary of work and life be clearer. Then again, hybrid set-up is no longer a possible option as they are transitioning RCC (Reservations and Customer Care) to work remotely full-time because the limited spaces available will be given to those with roles that require them to be onsite (such as the exceptions I mentioned above).

I realize this sentiment of mine is not popular, but it doesn’t make it an illegitimate concern. While there are more people who are for it, those of us who don’t shouldn’t be marginalized for expressing our preference as well. My kuya feels the same thing; he’s also not very happy with the news. He was looking at his large casual wardrobe the other day and tells me he won’t be using it that much anymore. But it’s not about dressing up to go to work, but the not going to work that makes him sad. 

The very few times I expressed this to people who care enough to listen, many of them must’ve thought I’m crazy that they’re probably questioning my motivations.

Why would I want to go to work?

Call me what you want but there’s something about being in a good light and good environment that drives me to work better compared to this very small space I have near our dining table where my company-issued equipment was set-up. I spend my 7AM to 4PM Monday-to-Friday shift cooped in this general area where I could hear everyone doing their own thing. It’s hard to switch my brain to “work mode” when I’m surrounded by family members.    

I sometimes miss the daily commute, which I always likened to a “daily workout” that keeps my ticker pumping. There’s something about getting up at the early hours of the morning, take a bath, prepare for work, and leave the house that somehow invigorates me. I don’t know why people are finding it hard to believe when I say that minimal social interactions, daily plesantries and spontaneous small talks, even for a self-confessed introvert like me, can help a lot in one’s mental health.       

I hate video call conferences and meetings. Again, for an introvert this should be a preference, but for me it isn’t. It doesn’t feel the same way as seeing those people in person and catching up with them. It is required to turn on the camera during meetings, and I tell you, virtual will never trump reality. Video conferencing freezes most of the time, and videos distort your appearance. When it lags it would conveniently freeze-frame in your most unflattering look and would remain that way in a few seconds. Often it takes away the privacy of my home. Only one person can talk, and discussions are very hard this way. Don’t get me started about the eyestrain by the end of an hour-and-a-half meeting. I blame this for my worsening presbyopia and recurring headaches.

But I guess now that I’m stuck working at home and somehow loathing it, but I have no choice but to accept it. I don’t hate the setup as passionately as I love my job. Yes, I love my job. And I feel very lucky still to have this. I am still very grateful to be a part of this company.

I respect the preference of most people who like to work remotely because I imagine they can better manage things at home and they have their own valid living situations that may be different from mine. As the company has already decided on this, I’m just going to make some adjustments on my end to make this work and to make this less stressful as it already is. I yearn for some normalcy, but people are also telling me that this is the new normal—a big work culture change—so there’s no use fighting it.

Not today, geek.

Many were excited when it was announced a few months ago that Disney+ is coming to the Philippines. It’s the streaming service for all that’s Disney, Pixar, Marvel and Star Wars that could make a geek like me do the happy dance. 

Photo by Marques Kaspbrak on Unsplash

Back then, we can only have Disney+ here in the Philippines if we have a VPN (Virtual Private Network). What it does is that it switches our IP address with one from a location that has Disney+, tricking into thinking we’re located there. So, for that, we needed to get a VPN provider, choose a subscription, and pay for it. At first I was willing to do it, especially when I was in the dark when people online start to talk about the Marvel series such as Loki, WandaVision and Hawkeye, then Lucasfilm’s Obi Wan Kenobi,  but changed my mind afterwards because I just don’t know—or maybe didn’t really bother finding out—how to go about with it.

Kuya, another geek himself, already said to get Disney+ as soon as it is released here in the Philippines, which it did last November 17, and he’d be the one paying (as I’m already the one paying for Netflix). The Premium Plan is available for P369 monthly, or P2,950 annually which isn’t bad at all if you ask me.

Imagine our frustration when we realized that I cannot download it on my Smart TV because the Hisense unit we got doesn’t support the Disney+ app.

To put it simply, Disney+ is not showing up on the app store of my TV that has the VIDAA U Operating System. This is a letdown considering that it’s a newly released model and we thought we’ll not have any of these problems. I guess, my brother and I weren’t familiar on how Smart TV Operating System works, including its limitations, when we got this unit last year.

Sure, I can have it installed on my phone or laptop, but I don’t think it’ll give me the same viewing experience of a 43-inch TV. Besides, with my worsening presbyopia that’s really not the way to go.

In order for us to be able to enjoy Disney+ on our TV, I read that we have to buy an extra accessory that needed to be plugged to the HDMI port like the Amazon Fire stick or a Roku streaming stick. Although I had to be sure before getting one so I’m planning to visit the appliance center where we got the TV last year to check what works. It’s an added accessory, which means it’s an added expense.

I am so jealous of my friends who were already posting on their stories how cool Disney+ is. I can imagine how I’d probably opt to stay at home even on weekends instead of going out once we have it already. The thought that I can binge-watch all the Marvel and Star Wars movies in one streaming service is just mind-blowing. 

But not today, geek. Not today.