Hey, Miss Busy

I realized I have not updated this blog for well over a month. See, apart from my own projects and everyday tasks at work, I got so busy with training on other projects (so in case there’s an increase in volume, everyone can actually help out). We also have weekly video coaching and meetings and were asked to update our project manuals. 

I guess the “honeymoon period” for WFH employees is over as we’re expected to deliver more already.   

But I won’t talk shop and bore you with these details. What I’m actually getting at is that by the time my shift ends, I don’t want to do anything that requires my laptop anymore. Thus, blogging took a back seat.

I’m okay, if you must ask. Although my lack of physical activity spawned a lot of issues as you can imagine. I had nagging lower back and neck pains (the kind that would hurt more when lying down). Indigestion/IBS, migraine, low-grade fever, abdominal pain plus a hundred more bodily discomforts you can think of has become a daily occurrence for me. Sometimes it’s one after the other, worst of times all at the same time. 

I even have this dull ache on my lower left side, and I get so paranoid that it might be just like what happened to my right ovary (endometrial cyst) but I’m also hoping that it isn’t. While entitled by law, I cannot take another Magna Carta leave to have surgery. Not when the employment situation is uncertain because of the pandemic. 

My mood is also whacked as f. One moment I’ll be happy, full of energy, and feeling okay, then the next minute I’m angry, anxious, sad, and scared for no reason. I can also be “short-fused” and ill-tempered, and would inadvertently take it out on my nephews or whoever is in the “line of fire”. Of course, it will make me feel bad and guilty after, which would be another cause for my anxiety. It’s like my emotions are very volatile. 

I have nights when I would wake up from sleep one or more times during the course of the night. There are nights when I couldn’t sleep at all. I’ve read somewhere that lack of physical activity adds to feelings of anxiety and depression so maybe, that partially explains my mood swings and restless sleep.

Last October 26th, I finally went for a full-body massage and ventosa (cupping therapy) after seven months. The first few days post-massage was hellish because it seems to have only aggravated the pains all over my body. I always have a fever at night after that. This is all new to me as I’m used to taking hard massages and cupping like a pro athlete, but this time I almost passed out during the ventosa session because it was so, so painful. I thought it’s probably because my muscles were so tensed as I haven’t had one in a long time. 

Thankfully, after a few days and many pain relievers, I felt better.     

But of course, that was just short-term relief. In a matter of days, the body pains are back again—this time with a vengeance. With it is the depression that’s like a dark cloud hovering over me. I decided to consult an endocrinologist to see if I should increase my dosage of Levothyroxine because I know how hypothyroidism could cause mood disorders. 

Even with the threat of Covid’s still there, I go out more often these days. I swear if you still ask me to stay home on weekends I will lose it. Sometimes I wish I had a car and knew how to drive so I can go someplace other than my go-to mall to clear my head. But since I don’t, then I only go to the same mall and to the same areas around it. 

Don’t worry, I take all the necessary steps to make sure I’m safe even when outside. I wear really snug face masks and even bought me a good face shield. Physical distancing is something that I observed strictly, as I avoid people like Covid itself. Come to think of it, that’s easy for an introverted, solitary creature like me.

The past few days we have also seen the worst typhoons 2020 has to offer through Rolly and Ulysses. The former is said to be the strongest typhoon on the planet this year and it battered our kababayans in the Bicol region. Rolly made its way to Metro Manila but by then it had already gone weaker after multiple landfalls, thank God. 

After a week and a half came Ulysses, once again passing by the metro, and brought strong winds and rain that can almost be likened to Ondoy in 2009. Marikina and other low-lying areas are once again flooded, with the worst in Cagayan last weekend where the flooding was caused not only by the tail end of the typhoon but also because they opened seven gates of the Magat Dam and released thousands of cubic meters of water per second.

For days now, my Twitter and FB timelines are a stream of heartbreaking posts of the typhoon victims asking for help and rescue. Aside from the very little cash donation I’ve managed to give, it’s good that I did a closet clean-up recently and was able to give away more than 20 kilos of my pre-loved clothes through this guy I came across on Facebook asking for in-kind donations. He had someone pick-up my donations right here at home last Sunday afternoon.

Typhoon Ulysses, while it didn’t do any major damage in our house other than a big hole on our wall after our exhaust fan was blown in by the strong winds, did give me a panic attack the whole night. The winds battered our house I felt like Dorothy in the flying house from The Wizard of Oz. Power was cut at around 1 AM that I had to take a leave the following day (I mean, I can’t work without electricity and WiFi connection, can I?).

Even at that, we are more fortunate than many people. I realized, even if our house is not as nice and as big as the ones that are in gated subdivisions and villages, at least we have never experienced any serious flooding in our area. A friend of mine showed what happened to their house after the typhoon in her IG/FB stories. Almost all their possessions got submerged in floodwaters rendering most of it useless. 

There’s still so much to be thankful for even in this trying year. 

I’ve been putting it off for many weeks now (because of the rains, etc.) but last Sunday, I woke up at 4 AM and went jogging at the Ayala Triangle Gardens. I have to admit, it was tougher with the face mask and face shield on. One lap and I’m already gasping for air. After an hour my hamstrings are already screaming bloody murder, to think I was running at an easy pace and alternating walking and running. I might have pushed it a little without allowing my body to adjust my stride because my shin and instep hurt too that night. 

Then again, it made me feel awake and energized, a far cry from how I’d normally feel on lazy Sundays when I’m lethargic and weak. I honestly could no longer recall the last time I jogged on a regular basis (2012?) and hopefully, low-impact jogging is something I can do at least every other weekend to keep my ticker pumping. 

Yes, I’ve been busy and so many things are going on here and there. 

It’s just a few more weeks and we’ll say goodbye to this year that made most of us inactive and sedentary. And while I can’t wait for 2020 to end, I’m also making sure that the last few stretches of it would be better for me physically, emotionally and mentally.